I have a theory that "incel" is the replacement word for "faggot" now that it's homophobic to call men that, no homo. I call it the faghandle theory. There is always a word that men don't want to be called and want to prove they're not as much as possible. If you can use a term to control men like that then it's a faghandle term and the man is getting faghandled into something he doesn't want.
I got this idea watching Shoe0nHead's recent video (1.4M views) on how it's "incel" to want to be a father. The video still makes perfect sense if you exchange the "incel" with "fag" or any other undesirable word. I haven't read bell hooks yet but I think she might be onto something. The word was being used as a faghandle the whole time.
Also, suffering inceldom is like losing a variant of
the mind game. You can only ever "suffer" being an incel if you know the meaning and try to directly observe it on yourself. Truly, only people with overactive internal monologues can "suffer" being incels. In practice, only people who use the term unironically are part of the incel game.