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<blockquote data-quote="Deleted member 258" data-source="post: 33592">Being a parent is the most important job in the world. One has to contextualize their struggles in life within the entire scope of their childhood experience. It isn&#039;t fair to expect people to empathize with you, to attempt to hold you to a fair enough standard regarding your mistakes and shortcomings, because, it goes without saying, that nobody will ever have the level of context for what you&#039;ve seen and felt in your formative years that you do. However, the crucial lesson to extract from all of this is that one should be willing to maintain a certain degree of compassion for oneself. We&#039;re our own worst critics, and I see this proven constantly with young men in particular. In general, boys aren&#039;t raised with the same carefulness that girls are, despite arguably requiring more. My impression is that boys are sort of just left to themselves (I implore you to examine your own experiences for proof of this). Society expects more from men but collectively leaves them out to dry during their most crucial developmental years, under the assumption--whether it&#039;s a conscious one or not--that they&#039;ll just figure things out. Throw some abuse into the mix for the hell of it, and you have a mess of an individual who is nowhere near ready for a world that supposedly belongs to him, emotional, albeit filled with potential, but nevertheless frozen, paralyzed, to do anything.All of that being said, I still fundamentally think it&#039;s a good thing that men ought not to expect any help with their suffering. Life is a brutal reality, but finding meaning, and more importantly, strength, within it all catalyzes a rich, insightful, and tenacious existence that one should be grateful for, a situation which is far more valuable than the kinds of &quot;perfect&quot; circumstances that people whine about not being able to experience, and to which people attribute all of their problems.My point is that, no matter what, young men ought to hold themselves to a fair standard, which entails admitting shortcomings as well as strengths, in light of what they&#039;ve been through. Sitting around allowing oneself to decay in passivity, in self-hatred, is a privilege, and if one is to adopt this pathway, one absolves themselves of the right to complain, beyond a certain extent.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Deleted member 258, post: 33592"] Being a parent is the most important job in the world. One has to contextualize their struggles in life within the entire scope of their childhood experience. It isn't fair to expect people to empathize with you, to attempt to hold you to a fair enough standard regarding your mistakes and shortcomings, because, it goes without saying, that nobody will ever have the level of context for what you've seen and felt in your formative years that you do. However, the crucial lesson to extract from all of this is that one should be willing to maintain a certain degree of compassion [I]for oneself[/I]. We're our own worst critics, and I see this proven constantly with young men in particular. In general, boys aren't raised with the same carefulness that girls are, despite arguably requiring more. My impression is that boys are sort of just [B]left to themselves[/B] (I implore you to examine your own experiences for proof of this). Society expects more from men but collectively leaves them out to dry during their most crucial developmental years, under the assumption--whether it's a conscious one or not--that [I]they'll just figure things out[/I]. Throw some abuse into the mix for the hell of it, and you have a mess of an individual who is nowhere near ready for a world that supposedly belongs to him, emotional, albeit filled with potential, but nevertheless frozen, [I]paralyzed[/I], to do anything. All of that being said, I still fundamentally think it's a good thing that men ought not to expect any help with their suffering. Life is a brutal reality, but finding meaning, and more importantly, strength, within it all catalyzes a rich, insightful, and tenacious existence that one should be grateful for, a situation which is far more valuable than the kinds of "perfect" circumstances that people whine about not being able to experience, and to which people attribute all of their problems. My point is that, no matter what, young men ought to hold themselves to a fair standard, which entails admitting shortcomings as well as strengths, in light of what they've been through. Sitting around allowing oneself to decay in passivity, in self-hatred, is a privilege, and if one is to adopt this pathway, one absolves themselves of the right to complain, beyond a certain extent. [/QUOTE]

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