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<blockquote data-quote="Myst" data-source="post: 38457" data-attributes="member: 24">Many people (including myself) are guilty of attaching themselves to things or people, which may very well ultimately lead to their own self-destruction. When you attach yourself to someone or something, you&#039;re giving your heart to them, you&#039;re relying on them and their version of them in your head, with your expectations of them, and it just isn&#039;t realistic or viable. We need to stop expecting ourselves from other people, we need to stop holding people and things up to our standards because they will eventually disappoint, it&#039;s inevitable. I&#039;m not saying don&#039;t love or have affection for one another, quite the opposite actually. It&#039;s just that you&#039;re putting yourself first, your mental health, your dignity, self-respect, self-love, and so on above everything else, and it&#039;s not out of arrogance or pride, you&#039;re just not letting those things consume you.Take these scenarios:Scenario A:Let&#039;s say I became friends with X a month ago and we&#039;ve really grown close to each other, as if we&#039;ve known each other our whole lives, but then X decides to turn his back on me and walk out of my life. And as a result of such an event, I spiral into a deep depressive episode or rut if you will. Rotting at home all day, drowning in my own misery and self-loathing, wondering what went wrong and what I could&#039;ve done to prevent things from happening. It is as if my whole life comes to a complete halt, because I attached myself to that one individual, I now am suffering the consequences of their actions.Scenario B:I develop a crush or oneitis on this one girl at school, looksmaxxing and trying to act NT around her and get her attention, thinking I&#039;ve gotten IOIs when in reality, let&#039;s say she&#039;s a lesbian or is already in a LTR. The moment I find out, I take my time to mourn the outcome, but then I move on. Life moves on, because you cannot avoid these things in life, they&#039;re a natural part of it and the sooner you start to accept this and start thinking this way, the sooner you&#039;ll mature and grow as a person.Attachment isn&#039;t healthy no matter the circumstances, it could even be a mother experiencing the death of her child and refusing to continue living (being alive does not constitute living) as the tragedy she&#039;s going through is too great. This does not mean that her feelings are invalid whatsoever, because they are valid. But the difference is, she&#039;s refusing to let go and move on, she&#039;s allowing this tragedy to completely and utterly wreck herself and those around her. That isn&#039;t healthy.You can connect with someone or something and not be attached, because things come, and things go. In the end, the only one that is truly always there for you, is God/Allah, because sometimes we don&#039;t even show up for ourselves, but he does. Always.Please rep if you&#039;ve enjoyed this thread so I know whether to make more like it! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite103" alt=":pepocomfy:" title="PepoComfy&nbsp; &nbsp; :pepocomfy:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":pepocomfy:" /><img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🤍" title="White heart&nbsp; &nbsp; :white_heart:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f90d.png" data-shortname=":white_heart:" /></blockquote>

[QUOTE="Myst, post: 38457, member: 24"] Many people (including myself) are guilty of attaching themselves to things or people, which may very well ultimately lead to their own self-destruction. When you attach yourself to someone or something, you're giving your heart to them, you're relying on them and their version of them in your head, with your expectations of them, and it just isn't [B]realistic[/B] or [B]viable[/B]. We need to stop expecting ourselves from other people, we need to stop holding people and things up to our standards because they will eventually [B]disappoint[/B], it's inevitable. I'm not saying don't love or have affection for one another, quite the opposite actually. It's just that you're putting yourself first, your mental health, your dignity, self-respect, self-love, and so on above everything else, and it's not out of arrogance or pride, you're just not letting those things consume you. Take these scenarios: [I]Scenario A:[/I] Let's say I became friends with X a month ago and we've really grown close to each other, as if we've known each other our whole lives, but then X decides to turn his back on me and walk out of my life. And as a result of such an event, I spiral into a deep depressive episode or rut if you will. Rotting at home all day, drowning in my own misery and self-loathing, wondering what went wrong and what I could've done to prevent things from happening. It is as if my [B]whole[/B] life comes to a complete [B]halt[/B], because I [B]attached[/B] myself to that one individual, I now am suffering the consequences of their actions. [I]Scenario B:[/I] I develop a crush or oneitis on this one girl at school, looksmaxxing and trying to act NT around her and get her attention, thinking I've gotten IOIs when in reality, let's say she's a lesbian or is already in a LTR. The moment I find out, I take my time to mourn the outcome, but then I [B]move on[/B]. [B]Life[/B] moves on, because you cannot [I]avoid[/I] these things in life, they're a natural part of it and the sooner you start to accept this and start thinking this way, the sooner you'll mature and grow as a person. Attachment isn't healthy no matter the circumstances, it could even be a mother experiencing the death of her child and refusing to continue living (being alive does not constitute living) as the tragedy she's going through is too great. This does not mean that her feelings are invalid whatsoever, because they [B]are[/B] valid. But the difference is, she's [B]refusing[/B] to let go and move on, she's allowing this tragedy to completely and utterly wreck herself [B]and[/B] those around her. That isn't healthy. You can connect with someone or something and not be attached, because things come, and things go. In the end, the only one that is truly always there for you, is God/Allah, because sometimes we don't even show up for ourselves, but he does. Always. Please rep if you've enjoyed this thread so I know whether to make more like it! :pepocomfy:🤍 [/QUOTE]

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