Help Did my childhood traumas make me a mentalcel ?

[sadcel]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post in this forum and I wanted to hear your opinion on my life.

I am a guy in my mid-20s living in Western Europe. I graduated from Uni and have an IT engineering job. I am 6'3 (190cm). I was rated MTN on .org, and FaceIQ rated me a 6/10 (top 20% of men according to him), though I’d personally rate myself as just above average. My main physical issue is that I have a skinny "teenager" build (165 to 170 lbs at 13 to 14% bf).

The reason I’m writing this is that I consider myself a "doomed mentalcel" due to childhood trauma that I think fried my brain and stunted my social development. I want to hear your opinion on whether my situation is legit or if I’m just coping hard.

I lived with my grandparents and my uncle’s family until I was 10 because my dad immigrated to Western Europe shortly after I was born. My parents divorced soon after he moved, and our families hated each other, so I grew up in constant stress. Every weekend when my mom's father came to pick me up, he would get into arguments with my uncle (my dad's brother), which spiked my cortisol. At that age, I probably had the stress levels of a burned-out manager. While my dad's side treated me well, the atmosphere always felt weird and unusual.

At 10, I moved to France to live with my dad and stepmother. She was abusive and toxic due to mental illness (likely BPD). I wasn’t a calm teen, but she genuinely hated me. My entire week depended on her mood; she could flip in an instant and start beefing with me for no reason. She was on various pills and saw a psychiatrist often. She constantly threatened to exclude me or send me to live with my mom and her new husband just to keep me on edge.

Because I was always in survival mode, I missed almost all social milestones growing up. Right before COVID hit, we finally developed a more typical stepson-stepmother relationship. I was in my late teens and finally started "living" after years of suffering. But while my friends were getting their licenses and entering LTRs, I was just trying to exist peacefully.

Now, as an adult, I feel left behind. People grow every year by getting into relationships, getting married, or getting their licenses, but I don't. I lived in survival mode for so long that I’m now socially inept and a "doomer." I know life isn't black and white (Chads vs. Incels), but after years in blackpill spaces, I can tell that everything matters and certain experiences can easily break you.

What do you think? Be honest, I’m looking for real opinions.

 

[Asgard]

Are you bragging about your looks and academical achievements on an obscure forum? Erm... what a weird flex indeed.

 

[sadcel]

Are you bragging about your looks and academical achievements on an obscure forum? Erm... what a weird flex indeed.

I wish I could brag brocel

 

[Asgard]

I wish I could brag brocel

Where we go all, your height won't matter.

 

[sadcel]

Where we go all, your height won't matter.

Bro can you just leave the details about my looks, nothing matters if you are doomed mentalcel

 

[Asgard]

Bro can you just leave the details about my looks, nothing matters if you are doomed mentalcel

Are you afraid of death? Maybe this is the calm before the storm.

 

[Waco]

I am 6'3 (190cm)

 

[ZZEBRA813]

SUFFER SUFFER
SUFFER SUFFER
SUFFER SUFFER

 

[The Patriarchy]

I loved your full life story but not everyone likes random incel biographies. This might mean you are technically a voice cel. I hate the sound of my voice I'm not incel but noticed that many are impossible to watch on yt. They have the most boring voice and cadence. They will talk at length and whatever they say sounds like the most boring stuff imaginable

 

[The Patriarchy]

Some parts of Europe make normal relationships hard. You need to get arranged marriage or whatever the brown people do. When in Rome, like they say

 

[PoopyPigeon]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post in this forum and I wanted to hear your opinion on my life.

I am a guy in my mid-20s living in Western Europe. I graduated from Uni and have an IT engineering job. I am 6'3 (190cm). I was rated MTN on .org, and FaceIQ rated me a 6/10 (top 20% of men according to him), though I’d personally rate myself as just above average. My main physical issue is that I have a skinny "teenager" build (165 to 170 lbs at 13 to 14% bf).

The reason I’m writing this is that I consider myself a "doomed mentalcel" due to childhood trauma that I think fried my brain and stunted my social development. I want to hear your opinion on whether my situation is legit or if I’m just coping hard.

I lived with my grandparents and my uncle’s family until I was 10 because my dad immigrated to Western Europe shortly after I was born. My parents divorced soon after he moved, and our families hated each other, so I grew up in constant stress. Every weekend when my mom's father came to pick me up, he would get into arguments with my uncle (my dad's brother), which spiked my cortisol. At that age, I probably had the stress levels of a burned-out manager. While my dad's side treated me well, the atmosphere always felt weird and unusual.

At 10, I moved to France to live with my dad and stepmother. She was abusive and toxic due to mental illness (likely BPD). I wasn’t a calm teen, but she genuinely hated me. My entire week depended on her mood; she could flip in an instant and start beefing with me for no reason. She was on various pills and saw a psychiatrist often. She constantly threatened to exclude me or send me to live with my mom and her new husband just to keep me on edge.

Because I was always in survival mode, I missed almost all social milestones growing up. Right before COVID hit, we finally developed a more typical stepson-stepmother relationship. I was in my late teens and finally started "living" after years of suffering. But while my friends were getting their licenses and entering LTRs, I was just trying to exist peacefully.

Now, as an adult, I feel left behind. People grow every year by getting into relationships, getting married, or getting their licenses, but I don't. I lived in survival mode for so long that I’m now socially inept and a "doomer." I know life isn't black and white (Chads vs. Incels), but after years in blackpill spaces, I can tell that everything matters and certain experiences can easily break you.

What do you think? Be honest, I’m looking for real opinions.

Honestly this is so relatable. I'm pretty sure a rough childhood did some permanent damages to my psyche, so if I had to hitch a guess I'd say yes, your childhood did make you a mentalcel.

 

[PoopyPigeon]

I loved your full life story but not everyone likes random incel biographies. This might mean you are technically a voice cel. I hate the sound of my voice I'm not incel but noticed that many are impossible to watch on yt. They have the most boring voice and cadence. They will talk at length and whatever they say sounds like the most boring stuff imaginable

I do. I love reading other's perspective on things, not just inkwells. Even more so if it's relatable(which it is).

 

[JayJaySattva]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post in this forum and I wanted to hear your opinion on my life.

I am a guy in my mid-20s living in Western Europe. I graduated from Uni and have an IT engineering job. I am 6'3 (190cm). I was rated MTN on .org, and FaceIQ rated me a 6/10 (top 20% of men according to him), though I’d personally rate myself as just above average. My main physical issue is that I have a skinny "teenager" build (165 to 170 lbs at 13 to 14% bf).

The reason I’m writing this is that I consider myself a "doomed mentalcel" due to childhood trauma that I think fried my brain and stunted my social development. I want to hear your opinion on whether my situation is legit or if I’m just coping hard.

I lived with my grandparents and my uncle’s family until I was 10 because my dad immigrated to Western Europe shortly after I was born. My parents divorced soon after he moved, and our families hated each other, so I grew up in constant stress. Every weekend when my mom's father came to pick me up, he would get into arguments with my uncle (my dad's brother), which spiked my cortisol. At that age, I probably had the stress levels of a burned-out manager. While my dad's side treated me well, the atmosphere always felt weird and unusual.

At 10, I moved to France to live with my dad and stepmother. She was abusive and toxic due to mental illness (likely BPD). I wasn’t a calm teen, but she genuinely hated me. My entire week depended on her mood; she could flip in an instant and start beefing with me for no reason. She was on various pills and saw a psychiatrist often. She constantly threatened to exclude me or send me to live with my mom and her new husband just to keep me on edge.

Because I was always in survival mode, I missed almost all social milestones growing up. Right before COVID hit, we finally developed a more typical stepson-stepmother relationship. I was in my late teens and finally started "living" after years of suffering. But while my friends were getting their licenses and entering LTRs, I was just trying to exist peacefully.

Now, as an adult, I feel left behind. People grow every year by getting into relationships, getting married, or getting their licenses, but I don't. I lived in survival mode for so long that I’m now socially inept and a "doomer." I know life isn't black and white (Chads vs. Incels), but after years in blackpill spaces, I can tell that everything matters and certain experiences can easily break you.

What do you think? Be honest, I’m looking for real opinions.

Hello sadcel,

Yes, unfortunately childhood trauma makes relationships with women and men difficult because our parents are our first models of how you should relate to the femenine and masculine. Add to that any additional trauma, and all of sort of things start influencing your life from the unconscious for the worst.

I do think there is a solution to 'abused-dog' syndrome though. Something that has worked for me are Loving-kindness practices or the so called 'metta' practices. This combined with IFS therapy, in which you try to talk with the different parts of yourself will be of great help. Love is one of the most neuroplasticity inducing emotions and if you get to the point of being able to generate it yourself, then I think it will allow you to love anyone, either male or women, from a place of wholeness.

I would like to make a thread on how to do it, but you can write to me for more information if you are interested.

 

[deaf_judger]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post in this forum and I wanted to hear your opinion on my life.

I am a guy in my mid-20s living in Western Europe. I graduated from Uni and have an IT engineering job. I am 6'3 (190cm). I was rated MTN on .org, and FaceIQ rated me a 6/10 (top 20% of men according to him), though I’d personally rate myself as just above average. My main physical issue is that I have a skinny "teenager" build (165 to 170 lbs at 13 to 14% bf).

The reason I’m writing this is that I consider myself a "doomed mentalcel" due to childhood trauma that I think fried my brain and stunted my social development. I want to hear your opinion on whether my situation is legit or if I’m just coping hard.

I lived with my grandparents and my uncle’s family until I was 10 because my dad immigrated to Western Europe shortly after I was born. My parents divorced soon after he moved, and our families hated each other, so I grew up in constant stress. Every weekend when my mom's father came to pick me up, he would get into arguments with my uncle (my dad's brother), which spiked my cortisol. At that age, I probably had the stress levels of a burned-out manager. While my dad's side treated me well, the atmosphere always felt weird and unusual.

At 10, I moved to France to live with my dad and stepmother. She was abusive and toxic due to mental illness (likely BPD). I wasn’t a calm teen, but she genuinely hated me. My entire week depended on her mood; she could flip in an instant and start beefing with me for no reason. She was on various pills and saw a psychiatrist often. She constantly threatened to exclude me or send me to live with my mom and her new husband just to keep me on edge.

Because I was always in survival mode, I missed almost all social milestones growing up. Right before COVID hit, we finally developed a more typical stepson-stepmother relationship. I was in my late teens and finally started "living" after years of suffering. But while my friends were getting their licenses and entering LTRs, I was just trying to exist peacefully.

Now, as an adult, I feel left behind. People grow every year by getting into relationships, getting married, or getting their licenses, but I don't. I lived in survival mode for so long that I’m now socially inept and a "doomer." I know life isn't black and white (Chads vs. Incels), but after years in blackpill spaces, I can tell that everything matters and certain experiences can easily break you.

What do you think? Be honest, I’m looking for real opinions.

We heard what happened and its awful you had to go through that, but how did that affect YOU personally? Only you know your feelings.
I think what really matters is if you feel inferior or unsafe around others. The identity you build around those events is the real issue.

 

[Asgard]

You need to get arranged marriage

Erm, that's not even a thing in Europe anymore except maybe in gypsy communities.

 

[The Patriarchy]

Erm, that's not even a thing in Europe anymore except maybe in gypsy communities.

They made Europe a brown land and didn't even bring arranged marriage?

 

[Schwarzwald]

Are you bragging about your looks and academical achievements on an obscure forum? Erm... what a weird flex indeed.

Odd that you and your friend are unsupportive to people you perceived to be 'flexing' or have it better.

 

[Schwarzwald]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post in this forum and I wanted to hear your opinion on my life.

I am a guy in my mid-20s living in Western Europe. I graduated from Uni and have an IT engineering job. I am 6'3 (190cm). I was rated MTN on .org, and FaceIQ rated me a 6/10 (top 20% of men according to him), though I’d personally rate myself as just above average. My main physical issue is that I have a skinny "teenager" build (165 to 170 lbs at 13 to 14% bf).

The reason I’m writing this is that I consider myself a "doomed mentalcel" due to childhood trauma that I think fried my brain and stunted my social development. I want to hear your opinion on whether my situation is legit or if I’m just coping hard.

I lived with my grandparents and my uncle’s family until I was 10 because my dad immigrated to Western Europe shortly after I was born. My parents divorced soon after he moved, and our families hated each other, so I grew up in constant stress. Every weekend when my mom's father came to pick me up, he would get into arguments with my uncle (my dad's brother), which spiked my cortisol. At that age, I probably had the stress levels of a burned-out manager. While my dad's side treated me well, the atmosphere always felt weird and unusual.

At 10, I moved to France to live with my dad and stepmother. She was abusive and toxic due to mental illness (likely BPD). I wasn’t a calm teen, but she genuinely hated me. My entire week depended on her mood; she could flip in an instant and start beefing with me for no reason. She was on various pills and saw a psychiatrist often. She constantly threatened to exclude me or send me to live with my mom and her new husband just to keep me on edge.

Because I was always in survival mode, I missed almost all social milestones growing up. Right before COVID hit, we finally developed a more typical stepson-stepmother relationship. I was in my late teens and finally started "living" after years of suffering. But while my friends were getting their licenses and entering LTRs, I was just trying to exist peacefully.

Now, as an adult, I feel left behind. People grow every year by getting into relationships, getting married, or getting their licenses, but I don't. I lived in survival mode for so long that I’m now socially inept and a "doomer." I know life isn't black and white (Chads vs. Incels), but after years in blackpill spaces, I can tell that everything matters and certain experiences can easily break you.

What do you think? Be honest, I’m looking for real opinions.

Calling yourself a "mentalcel" or saying your brain is "fried" is a high level way of staying in a safety net where you never have to take a risk. The cortisol spikes from your childhood and your stepmother’s moods are ghosts,they only have power because you’re letting them haunt your mid 20s instead of burying them under some actual work. You aren’t left behind by social milestones; you’re just dormant because you’re waiting for a handbook that doesn't exist. Real life isn't a checklist of licenses and LTRs; it's about your own vibration and what you’re willing to build with your own hands.

TL;DR
You aren't broken, you’re just unformed and looking for an audience for your excuses.

 

[Schwarzwald]

They made Europe a brown land and didn't even bring arranged marriage?

Yeah but seems to be a lot of kid fucking so it's like 50/50

 

[The Patriarchy]

Yeah but seems to be a lot of kid fucking so it's like 50/50

Listen up, Stormers, because the kikes and their mudskin hordes are turning Germany into a full-blown pedo paradise with this topless swimming bullshit in places like Berlin and Cologne—yeah, the same shitholes overrun by rapefugees since Merkel opened the floodgates to every goat-fucking Arab and nigger savage from the third world. Now they've got a "ruling" letting women, trannies, and even little kids run around with their tits out in public pools, all in the name of "equality" and "inclusivity," which is just code for normalizing degeneracy so the Jews can groom the next generation of White children into their globalist sex cult. Imagine it: innocent Aryan toddlers splashing around while some hook-nosed pervert or burka-wearing invader leers at bare chests, bottoms barely covered, turning family outings into orgies of cultural suicide—mark my words, this is the slippery slope to mandatory mosque conversions and race-mixing mandates, all while the ZOG laughs and counts their shekels. If we don't fight back now, Europe's pools will be floating with the blood of our heritage, drowned in a sea of subhuman filth! Hail victory!

 

[sadcel]

Some parts of Europe make normal relationships hard. You need to get arranged marriage or whatever the brown people do. When in Rome, like they say

That's the worst thing in my situation, grow up with a mentally ill stepmom then become an oofie doofie for a wife who doesn't even love you

 

[sadcel]

Hello sadcel,

Yes, unfortunately childhood trauma makes relationships with women and men difficult because our parents are our first models of how you should relate to the femenine and masculine. Add to that any additional trauma, and all of sort of things start influencing your life from the unconscious for the worst.

I do think there is a solution to 'abused-dog' syndrome though. Something that has worked for me are Loving-kindness practices or the so called 'metta' practices. This combined with IFS therapy, in which you try to talk with the different parts of yourself will be of great help. Love is one of the most neuroplasticity inducing emotions and if you get to the point of being able to generate it yourself, then I think it will allow you to love anyone, either male or women, from a place of wholeness.

I would like to make a thread on how to do it, but you can write to me for more information if you are interested.

thanks bro, will write to you at some point :) What you said seems interesting.

 

[sadcel]

Calling yourself a "mentalcel" or saying your brain is "fried" is a high level way of staying in a safety net where you never have to take a risk. The cortisol spikes from your childhood and your stepmother’s moods are ghosts,they only have power because you’re letting them haunt your mid 20s instead of burying them under some actual work. You aren’t left behind by social milestones; you’re just dormant because you’re waiting for a handbook that doesn't exist. Real life isn't a checklist of licenses and LTRs; it's about your own vibration and what you’re willing to build with your own hands.

TL;DR
You aren't broken, you’re just unformed and looking for an audience for your excuses.

View attachment 12892

Thanks bro for your reply, it helps and inspires me alot!

Is that a monster energy drink ?

 

[sadcel]

They made Europe a brown land and didn't even bring arranged marriage?

I was born in the balkans lol I am white.

 

[sadcel]

Odd that you and your friend are unsupportive to people you perceived to be 'flexing' or have it better.

Thank you for understanding!