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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Sovereign" data-source="post: 56659" data-attributes="member: 10">I grew up in the age of television. I was there when Windows XP and Windows Vista were popular, I witnessed when The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack came out, to Adventure Time, when cable was the norm, I remember we had a Comcast cable box, the channel I think for Cartoon Network was channel 100 or more. What I cared most about was sitting in front of the TV; it was one of my few entertainments, if not the main entertainment medium. School for me did not mean a lick of importance, it was just something I did, what I was there to do I didn't understand or care to be honest, I just wanted to sleep and watch TV. Now, all of that is a passing shadow of what once occurred in the very room I type this in.Time passed, and as a youth, I wasn't much of an academic. Actually, I got in trouble a lot because I didn't do my homework or even get good grades. I was in special ed and received help. Of course, none of it would help me down the line of what I would become or be in my current disposition. There was one moment I recall in elementary school when we would read, and the aide would tell us how many words we read a minute (WPM). I was competitive and tried to read very fast. Alas, it's but a brief candle, nothing but a passing shadow.As of recent, I find myself stressed, forgetful, and outright bonked out insane. With the physical and emotional abuse I endured, it's no wonder that perhaps a portion of my brain is fried, and due to early pornography exposure, one could imagine that it has done significant damage. The reality of the situation was and still is the case: I had no significant abilities, I enjoyed reading about history and watching documentaries about the Second World War, and for the most part, I watched a lot of documentaries about gangs, war, and history. Later, when I went to high school, I wanted to delve into philosophy.The heart of this is that I was either terribly retarded or just flat out incompetent to complete the task. I don't know the precise date or time when this occurred, though the situation never really changed for me cognitively. In essence, I notice an increase in anxiety and fear, the inability to communicate precisely, thinking is difficult, gratification is almost always instant, and complex tasks are of distaste for me. The causes I can link this to are poor sleep & diet, but most of all to childhood trauma and malnourishment, psychological abuse, both emotional & physical.</blockquote>

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