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<blockquote data-quote="Raskolnikov" data-source="post: 3535" data-attributes="member: 35">I find women attractive, but I hate having them as company. Not necessarily due to anything they do but because of who they are, and by extension, who I am.I find a deep disdain towards their company because the woman and the feminine in my presence ignite a reaction in a sense—a demand.The feminine in my presence ignites a demand for me to separate her essence from mine. This essence, of course, being my masculinity.Due to some physical hindrances as well as not being in the right place in my life just yet, I don&#039;t feel like I got what it takes to be a &quot;man.&#039;&#039; I am not man enough to be able to contrast my masculinity off of her femininity to such an extent that we have harmony and balance.I prefer just being me at the moment due to my lacking presentation; I prefer a seamless existence, just perceiving the world and acting from my own volition—without the expectations of juxtaposing my masculinity with a woman.One day, however, when I have achieved a certain level of looks as well as made it further in my life than I currently have, I fear I may become addicted to and begin endlessly chasing this juxtaposition.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Raskolnikov, post: 3535, member: 35"] I find women attractive, but I hate having them as company. Not necessarily due to anything they do but because of who they are, and by extension, who I am. I find a deep disdain towards their company because the woman and the feminine in my presence ignite a reaction in a sense—a demand. The feminine in my presence ignites a demand for me to separate her essence from mine. This essence, of course, being my masculinity. Due to some physical hindrances as well as not being in the right place in my life just yet, I don't feel like I got what it takes to be a "man.'' I am not man enough to be able to contrast my masculinity off of her femininity to such an extent that we have harmony and balance. I prefer just being me at the moment due to my lacking presentation; I prefer a seamless existence, just perceiving the world and acting from my own volition—without the expectations of juxtaposing my masculinity with a woman. One day, however, when I have achieved a certain level of looks as well as made it further in my life than I currently have, I fear I may become addicted to and begin endlessly chasing this juxtaposition. [/QUOTE]

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