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I am wracked with the feeling that I was born as some other entity than human. I am an observer, perhaps. I don't actually believe in the supernatural. But a demon or some other supernatural entity that is beyond human understanding or motivation seems to fit the bill. My general mood, my overarching sensation of existing is profoundly inhuman- I feel like something is either missing inside me, or I am missing out on something everyone else has, or some combination of the two.
It's like I don't belong on Earth. I belong somewhere else, or in some other state of existence, or some other society based on completely different psychology and motivations. I'm just so unbelievably wracked with disillusionment. I feel like the whole world is either a lie or a sick joke. It's a big competition where everyone's trying to f**k everybody else. And I hate it all. I wish I could end the Earth- its like an experiment that the scientist feels pity for because it was created with an awful existence that it has no effective means of ending. It slithers across the laboratory floor, writhing in pain and pleasure and mindless impulses, and it won't go away.
It's like I don't belong on Earth. I belong somewhere else, or in some other state of existence, or some other society based on completely different psychology and motivations. I'm just so unbelievably wracked with disillusionment. I feel like the whole world is either a lie or a sick joke. It's a big competition where everyone's trying to f**k everybody else. And I hate it all. I wish I could end the Earth- its like an experiment that the scientist feels pity for because it was created with an awful existence that it has no effective means of ending. It slithers across the laboratory floor, writhing in pain and pleasure and mindless impulses, and it won't go away.
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