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/l/ - Lifestyle
I want to get married but I don't feel mature enough
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<blockquote data-quote="MelaninWarlord" data-source="post: 54529" data-attributes="member: 428"><p>[MEDIA=youtube]o2MAOmrIqTs[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p>Gabriel al romaani</p><p></p><p>The video titled <strong>"I want to get married, but I don’t feel mature enough, what do I do?”</strong> by <strong>Gabriel Al Romaani</strong> addresses the common feeling of being unready for marriage and offers practical advice for preparation.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Here is a summary of the key points from the video:</p><p></p><p></p><h3>The Misunderstanding About Readiness</h3><p></p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><strong>Perfection is not required</strong> [<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=32" target="_blank">00:32</a>]. Most people mistakenly think readiness means being "perfect, financially stable, emotionally bulletproof, [and] spiritually on top of your game."</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><strong>The Prophet's teaching on readiness</strong> focuses on the <strong>ability to afford it</strong> (to marry), which means having reached a level of <strong>responsibility and restraint</strong> needed to lead a household [<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=45" target="_blank">00:45</a>].</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Readiness is about the <strong>willingness to grow</strong> and take responsibility, not about achieving perfection [<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=72" target="_blank">01:12</a>].</li> </ul><p></p><h3>Preparation for Brothers</h3><p></p><p>If a brother feels unready, the video suggests using that feeling as a starting point to build character:</p><p></p><p></p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><strong>Train your body:</strong> Hit the gym and build consistency. Strength brings discipline, which builds leadership [<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=83" target="_blank">01:23</a>].</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><strong>Train your brain:</strong> Read, study, and develop yourself intellectually in the religion (the <em>deen</em>). A leader without knowledge can lead his family into confusion [<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=92" target="_blank">01:32</a>].</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><strong>Train your communication:</strong> Learn to speak with confidence, to listen, and to understand women with wisdom, not just emotion [<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=100" target="_blank">01:40</a>].</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><strong>Train your soul:</strong> Pray on time, read the Quran, and protect your eyes [<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=109" target="_blank">01:49</a>].</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">You become ready by <strong>building yourself</strong> while walking towards marriage, not just by waiting [<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=127" target="_blank">02:07</a>].</li> </ul><p></p><h3>Preparation for Sisters</h3><p></p><p>The preparation for sisters is also emphasized as important:</p><p></p><p></p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><strong>Take care of your health:</strong> Physical energy affects emotional energy, helping to handle family life with patience [<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=138" target="_blank">02:18</a>].</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><strong>Learn household management:</strong> This includes cooking, cleaning, and creating a calm and peaceful home environment [<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=144" target="_blank">02:24</a>].</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><strong>Grow your knowledge:</strong> Learn about the Quran, marriage communication, men's psychology, and your rights and responsibilities [<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=161" target="_blank">02:41</a>].</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><strong>Build emotional maturity:</strong> Learn how to <strong>respond, not react</strong>, and the ability to stay calm in conflict [<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=177" target="_blank">02:57</a>].</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">The mature wife is the one who knows how to <strong>keep learning</strong> after <em>nikah</em> (marriage) and follow the rules of Allah [<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=184" target="_blank">03:04</a>].</li> </ul><p></p><h3>Conclusion</h3><p></p><p>Marriage is intended to help you <strong>grow into maturity</strong> and find <strong>tranquility</strong> (<em>sakinah</em>), but this requires both people to enter it <strong>intentionally with effort</strong> [<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=202" target="_blank">03:22</a>].</p><p></p><p></p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">If you feel unready, <strong>don't panic, but don't stay still</strong> [<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=224" target="_blank">03:44</a>].</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><strong>Make </strong><em><strong>dua</strong></em><strong> daily</strong> (supplication) asking Allah to help you mature, have wisdom, and have strength [<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=228" target="_blank">03:48</a>].</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Start by picking <strong>one habit</strong>—such as going to the gym, reading Quran, or journaling—and stick to it. As you see progress, plan for the next habit, and then plan for marriage [<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=235" target="_blank">03:55</a>].</li> </ul><p></p><p>You can watch the video here: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs" target="_blank">“I want to get married, but I don’t feel mature enough, what do I do?” | [WATCH NOW!]</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MelaninWarlord, post: 54529, member: 428"] [MEDIA=youtube]o2MAOmrIqTs[/MEDIA] Gabriel al romaani The video titled [B]"I want to get married, but I don’t feel mature enough, what do I do?”[/B] by [B]Gabriel Al Romaani[/B] addresses the common feeling of being unready for marriage and offers practical advice for preparation. Here is a summary of the key points from the video: [HEADING=2]The Misunderstanding About Readiness[/HEADING] [LIST] [*][B]Perfection is not required[/B] [[URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=32']00:32[/URL]]. Most people mistakenly think readiness means being "perfect, financially stable, emotionally bulletproof, [and] spiritually on top of your game." [*][B]The Prophet's teaching on readiness[/B] focuses on the [B]ability to afford it[/B] (to marry), which means having reached a level of [B]responsibility and restraint[/B] needed to lead a household [[URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=45']00:45[/URL]]. [*]Readiness is about the [B]willingness to grow[/B] and take responsibility, not about achieving perfection [[URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=72']01:12[/URL]]. [/LIST] [HEADING=2]Preparation for Brothers[/HEADING] If a brother feels unready, the video suggests using that feeling as a starting point to build character: [LIST] [*][B]Train your body:[/B] Hit the gym and build consistency. Strength brings discipline, which builds leadership [[URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=83']01:23[/URL]]. [*][B]Train your brain:[/B] Read, study, and develop yourself intellectually in the religion (the [I]deen[/I]). A leader without knowledge can lead his family into confusion [[URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=92']01:32[/URL]]. [*][B]Train your communication:[/B] Learn to speak with confidence, to listen, and to understand women with wisdom, not just emotion [[URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=100']01:40[/URL]]. [*][B]Train your soul:[/B] Pray on time, read the Quran, and protect your eyes [[URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=109']01:49[/URL]]. [*]You become ready by [B]building yourself[/B] while walking towards marriage, not just by waiting [[URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=127']02:07[/URL]]. [/LIST] [HEADING=2]Preparation for Sisters[/HEADING] The preparation for sisters is also emphasized as important: [LIST] [*][B]Take care of your health:[/B] Physical energy affects emotional energy, helping to handle family life with patience [[URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=138']02:18[/URL]]. [*][B]Learn household management:[/B] This includes cooking, cleaning, and creating a calm and peaceful home environment [[URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=144']02:24[/URL]]. [*][B]Grow your knowledge:[/B] Learn about the Quran, marriage communication, men's psychology, and your rights and responsibilities [[URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=161']02:41[/URL]]. [*][B]Build emotional maturity:[/B] Learn how to [B]respond, not react[/B], and the ability to stay calm in conflict [[URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=177']02:57[/URL]]. [*]The mature wife is the one who knows how to [B]keep learning[/B] after [I]nikah[/I] (marriage) and follow the rules of Allah [[URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=184']03:04[/URL]]. [/LIST] [HEADING=2]Conclusion[/HEADING] Marriage is intended to help you [B]grow into maturity[/B] and find [B]tranquility[/B] ([I]sakinah[/I]), but this requires both people to enter it [B]intentionally with effort[/B] [[URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=202']03:22[/URL]]. [LIST] [*]If you feel unready, [B]don't panic, but don't stay still[/B] [[URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=224']03:44[/URL]]. [*][B]Make [/B][I][B]dua[/B][/I][B] daily[/B] (supplication) asking Allah to help you mature, have wisdom, and have strength [[URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=228']03:48[/URL]]. [*]Start by picking [B]one habit[/B]—such as going to the gym, reading Quran, or journaling—and stick to it. As you see progress, plan for the next habit, and then plan for marriage [[URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs&t=235']03:55[/URL]]. [/LIST] You can watch the video here: [URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2MAOmrIqTs']“I want to get married, but I don’t feel mature enough, what do I do?” | [WATCH NOW!][/URL] [/QUOTE]
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