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Elysium
I'm starting to feel like I'm getting out of debt metaphorically
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<blockquote data-quote="6ft4" data-source="post: 72300" data-attributes="member: 357"><p>I believe feeling like you have a mountain of work you need to get around to in order to get off the starting line is a massive mental burden, and this mental burden feels like being in debt metaphorically </p><p></p><p>I remember Alexander Grace speaking about the concept of sexual debt, feeling like you need to have x amount of sexual experiences to satiate yourself because of all of the sexual fantasies you imagine in your youth and all of the desire you feel needs to be met. </p><p></p><p>I managed to "pay off" my sexual debt for the most part, to the point where I can cope with being incel for larger timespans now but would still like to get some good calibre experiences but can cope if they don't happen </p><p></p><p>The debt that was really nagging at me was achievement potential debt, knowing I should be achieving things but wasn't</p><p>When I finally quit working at 25, the youtube channel I had been putting off for years finally got made, I reached a solid level of success meaning that I finally made a temporary income from it, something that was a goal of mine although I was unable to sustain it since sport copyright is a fickle avenue.</p><p></p><p>I surgerymaxxed, moved city and began renting my own apartment, I got back to working as nightclub security after 5.5 years away from it due to lockdowns and having to wait until my post surgery city move to work my way back to a nightclub role.</p><p></p><p>It was nagging at me for years to make PSL adjacent videos, I finally set the time aside to make them</p><p>It was nagging at me for years to make a course on a certain idea that I saw nobody else had, I made the course which allowed me to fully develop the idea.</p><p>I had it on my to-do list since 2023 to make a niche sports videos channel, I made it and stopped after 4 videos because I realized the ROI wasn't there but was happy I got the idea out of the way</p><p>It was nagging at me to make a full manifesto for my worldview, I finally did it, I no longer feel like I have to write shit for no profit now, it's all off my chest </p><p></p><p>I recently got 2 slays having not gotten a slay for 14 months after my most monumental slaying night </p><p>Of these two slays, one of them was a case of the foid leaving with me after 30 seconds of convo and going back to hers</p><p>It was my first time in years getting that dopamine release where the decision is made that you're leaving with them, this was on the same night that I was asked to make out with a JB in the club who fake ID maxxed to get into the club, first time in years getting that validation from a JB.</p><p>I also had a recent slay from tinder which was my first dating app slay in years where the foid appealed to me facially </p><p></p><p>It was mainly a case of me re-doing all of these genres of slays post surgery that I had done pre surgery but couldn't manage to repeat post surgery </p><p>Now that they are out of they way among other things I've done, it feels like my debt has been paid off to an extent, although part of it is just laying the path for me to finally get off the starting line</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="6ft4, post: 72300, member: 357"] I believe feeling like you have a mountain of work you need to get around to in order to get off the starting line is a massive mental burden, and this mental burden feels like being in debt metaphorically I remember Alexander Grace speaking about the concept of sexual debt, feeling like you need to have x amount of sexual experiences to satiate yourself because of all of the sexual fantasies you imagine in your youth and all of the desire you feel needs to be met. I managed to "pay off" my sexual debt for the most part, to the point where I can cope with being incel for larger timespans now but would still like to get some good calibre experiences but can cope if they don't happen The debt that was really nagging at me was achievement potential debt, knowing I should be achieving things but wasn't When I finally quit working at 25, the youtube channel I had been putting off for years finally got made, I reached a solid level of success meaning that I finally made a temporary income from it, something that was a goal of mine although I was unable to sustain it since sport copyright is a fickle avenue. I surgerymaxxed, moved city and began renting my own apartment, I got back to working as nightclub security after 5.5 years away from it due to lockdowns and having to wait until my post surgery city move to work my way back to a nightclub role. It was nagging at me for years to make PSL adjacent videos, I finally set the time aside to make them It was nagging at me for years to make a course on a certain idea that I saw nobody else had, I made the course which allowed me to fully develop the idea. I had it on my to-do list since 2023 to make a niche sports videos channel, I made it and stopped after 4 videos because I realized the ROI wasn't there but was happy I got the idea out of the way It was nagging at me to make a full manifesto for my worldview, I finally did it, I no longer feel like I have to write shit for no profit now, it's all off my chest I recently got 2 slays having not gotten a slay for 14 months after my most monumental slaying night Of these two slays, one of them was a case of the foid leaving with me after 30 seconds of convo and going back to hers It was my first time in years getting that dopamine release where the decision is made that you're leaving with them, this was on the same night that I was asked to make out with a JB in the club who fake ID maxxed to get into the club, first time in years getting that validation from a JB. I also had a recent slay from tinder which was my first dating app slay in years where the foid appealed to me facially It was mainly a case of me re-doing all of these genres of slays post surgery that I had done pre surgery but couldn't manage to repeat post surgery Now that they are out of they way among other things I've done, it feels like my debt has been paid off to an extent, although part of it is just laying the path for me to finally get off the starting line [/QUOTE]
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I'm starting to feel like I'm getting out of debt metaphorically
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