Lifestyle Just a reminder you are never in control of your life.

[JayJay]

Because there is no "you" to control it in the first place. It is always, absolutely always the unconscious mind in control. It doesn't matter how much you integrate your psychological shadow or heal your trauma. The self is an illusion, and thus control is.

Paradoxically, the only thing to do is to cultivate the right conditions in the present moment.

That's all.

 

[JayJay]

It is not you, but the totality of you what's in control. Your beliefs are in control. You trauma is in control. Your pain is in control. Your environment is in control. The actions done on you are in control. Other's belief are in control. What you read is in control. What you consume is in control. Your fears are in control. Your emotions are in control. Your genes are in control.

Someone might say that I'm arguing semantics, but the thing is that the "I" is simply a post-processing of the mind designed to maintain internal coherence. What matters is what is before the "I" appears.

 

[Arnold Schwarzwald]

I like to think of it like a pachinko but with drugs and hooks... And aids.

 

[Arnold Schwarzwald]

 

[Truckzo]

TLDR WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is kinda what makes me think im insane, I dunno that if I do something its truly genuine or a narrative i've made in my head about myself. I remember as a young lad I just used to do nonsense, I'd kick over the other kids blocks, I'd do things to them, I'd annoy them, and this continued all the way to highschool, I wasn't even trying to nessecarily jestermax? and I loved saying and doing peculiar things.


I remember one time we were in weight training and just out the blue said "Yeah I'm gonna get stronger so I can force myself on women!" and the kids were like "What the fuck dude go away" and idgaf. And then I discovered ER and latched onto him and these peculiar forums, and viewing my whole state of being as something to "overcome" through looksfagging and I started trying to become more "normal" I cleaned up a tiny bit but I never fully escaped and nowadays I'm too lazy to lose weight or do anything with my life. I still occasionally do weird things and its become a part of my "personality" I simply cannot imitate a normal human being for the life of me.


I think that my constant childhood conflict of trying to be "normal" and my mom always telling me I was off and how I gotta do this and blah blah blah has created some kind of scrambled disconnect within me. I remember as a child I knew I was fucked from the jump and I had these peculiar things I'd do in private. I remember I had this one habit where my family would be at my grandmas house for some reason and whenever they'd cook something I liked I'd walk around in circles in the guest room instead of watching TV because I believed it would make time go faster. And I developed a headvoice at a very young age who became a full "character" early into highschool and he'd tell me to do things sometimes that were not the best things to do. He taught me how to use magic though.


This is the first time i've clearly explained something regarding something about me internally in a long time, I recently took a large amount of zolpdiem and its still fucking with me a bit.

 

[Arnold Schwarzwald]

TLDR WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is kinda what makes me think im insane, I dunno that if I do something its truly genuine or a narrative i've made in my head about myself. I remember as a young lad I just used to do nonsense, I'd kick over the other kids blocks, I'd do things to them, I'd annoy them, and this continued all the way to highschool, I wasn't even trying to nessecarily jestermax? and I loved saying and doing peculiar things.


I remember one time we were in weight training and just out the blue said "Yeah I'm gonna get stronger so I can force myself on women!" and the kids were like "What the fuck dude go away" and idgaf. And then I discovered ER and latched onto him and these peculiar forums, and viewing my whole state of being as something to "overcome" through looksfagging and I started trying to become more "normal" I cleaned up a tiny bit but I never fully escaped and nowadays I'm too lazy to lose weight or do anything with my life. I still occasionally do weird things and its become a part of my "personality" I simply cannot imitate a normal human being for the life of me.


I think that my constant childhood conflict of trying to be "normal" and my mom always telling me I was off and how I gotta do this and blah blah blah has created some kind of scrambled disconnect within me. I remember as a child I knew I was fucked from the jump and I had these peculiar things I'd do in private. I remember I had this one habit where my family would be at my grandmas house for some reason and whenever they'd cook something I liked I'd walk around in circles in the guest room instead of watching TV because I believed it would make time go faster. And I developed a headvoice at a very young age who became a full "character" early into highschool and he'd tell me to do things sometimes that were not the best things to do. He taught me how to use magic though.


This is the first time i've clearly explained something regarding something about me internally in a long time, I recently took a large amount of zolpdiem and its still fucking with me a bit.

How big are your arms?

 

[Truckzo]

How big are your arms?

meh I have some okay muscles but I'm def losing mass due to the fact that I'm a lazy fat retard

 

[Arnold Schwarzwald]

meh I have some okay muscles but I'm def losing mass due to the fact that I'm a lazy fat retard

Ah, I wasn't trying to neg I just got interested since the mention of weight training.

Fat on muscles is better then dehydrated gym twink. I'm sure it's better then you think we are our worst critics.