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Venting small rant abt bp, copes and mentality

i need soylent
Joined
Aug 27, 2024
Messages
469
i get these dreams abt the bp
whether they are true idk
I see myself getting humiliated in every way

its dehumanizing sometimes for me bc I just want to be normal but why do I have to go through this in life
why do I have to get mindfucks every day, why
and with that question alone I can drive myself to suicidal thoughts

I just hope it gets better for me tho
I often got mocked for my appearance when I was younger so I was always low self esteem
and it never got better

I tried to cope with mindset like the normies said but it was too late by that time, I was already a abused dog
I mean for me back when I was a kid I just wanted to be perceived as normal

in a way my grandma and aunt cucked me for making me overweight as a kid, at younger ages u always see the fat kid getting bullied for how he looks, that used to be me, I was getting called names, kids were taking shit out of my bag for laughs, I was getting throw fucking bread crumbs as a joke

don't u know how much of a mindfuck that is at such a young age, sometimes i just wished for at least a normal school day, no name calling, no bullying, no weird shit, just me socializing like i should

i don't know if it was bc i wasn't raised in a hard environment but i just cant take shit like that, its completely bad for my mental
 
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