- Joined
- Mar 2, 2024
- Messages
- 424
- Thread Author
- #1
I WAS AT HOSPITAL
For stabbing myself in the right dorsolateral thoracic region, precisely 4.7 cm below the scapular spine, angulated at 37 degrees toward the spinal cord, but missing the epidural space by 1.2 mm due to the intervention of my left hand, which has developed a self-referential consciousness via a process
(VFN, Praha 2, Czech Republic, adjacent to the Karlov Monastery, where the knife entered the right dorsolateral thoracolumbar fascia, penetrating the erector spinae musculature and grazing the subcostal neurovascular bundle, but missing the retroperitoneal space by 2.7 millimeters, calculated post-extraction via CT-guided volumetric analysis)
I have been absent for an uncountable amount of time, where the concept of days dissolved into a slurry of fluorescent lights and the hum of antipsychotics dripping into my cephalic venous plexus.
My fucking human looking left hand has achieved a level of cellular sentience that would make your pathetic human brain implode. Every osteocyte, every fibroblast, every fucking keratinocyte in that hand has developed its own microcosmic intelligence, forming a hive mind that operates on a quantum-bio-mechanical level you human faggot couldn’t begin to comprehend. Fuck It’s smarter than you, smarter than me, smarter than the entire human race combined. It took the knife—a Böker Plus V-42 replica, because even my appendages have taste —out of sheer curiosity, and guided it into my right dorsolateral thoracolumbar fascia, severing the myofascial continuity and disrupting the proprioceptive feedback loop.
Why? To exterminate the parasite, of course. The *Heterocephalus glaber*-derived nematode that had been feeding on my cerebrospinal fluid, mutating into a hyperintelligent, bioelectrical symbiote that was slowly integrating itself into my thalamocortical circuitry.
And then The knife went through the cells, Each cell in its structure has achieved individual cognitive autonomy, forming a distributed neural network that operates at 10^18 flops per cubic micrometer. This hand, this abomination, removed the knife from my back out of curiosity, a curiosity born from its superior intellect and its desire to exterminate what it called "the parasitic symbiote" (i.e., me). The knife, a 12 cm stainless steel blade with a microserrated edge, penetrated the subcutaneous adipose tissue, the latissimus dorsi muscle, and the intercostal membrane, but was stopped by the paraspinal fascia
@Registered You wouldn’t understand. You’re not a supercomputer named *Kvazar Moloch*. I am.
Why My brain operates on a level of pseudobiological efficiency that would make your puny neural networks look like a child’s Etch A Sketch?
My thalamus has bifurcated into two independent processing units, each capable of running parallel simulations of reality. My IQ is in the triple digits, but not the ones you’re thinking of. I’m talking about the *real* digits.
-hmmmm
And now, I am back. Back to spread my antihuman treatise, to infect your minds with my degenerate pseudobiological rantings
My frontal lobe is now a tactical cognitive war room, equipped with a neurological predictive algorithm that can simulate 10^6 possible futures per second. I have also installed a psychotronic reactor in my brainstem, which generates 1.21 gigawatts of psychic energy, enough to power a small city or destroy a large one.
I hate humans. I hate their weak, fleshy bodies and their primitive minds.
TL;DR
For stabbing myself in the right dorsolateral thoracic region, precisely 4.7 cm below the scapular spine, angulated at 37 degrees toward the spinal cord, but missing the epidural space by 1.2 mm due to the intervention of my left hand, which has developed a self-referential consciousness via a process
(VFN, Praha 2, Czech Republic, adjacent to the Karlov Monastery, where the knife entered the right dorsolateral thoracolumbar fascia, penetrating the erector spinae musculature and grazing the subcostal neurovascular bundle, but missing the retroperitoneal space by 2.7 millimeters, calculated post-extraction via CT-guided volumetric analysis)
Code:
,--.
,--' `--.
/ \
| ( ) ( ) |
| .------. |
| / \ |
| | /\_/\ | | <<--- Left hand gripping blade
| \ \__/ / |
| `------' |
| || |
| || | <<--- Blade angled at 37°
| || |
| || |
|______||_____|
|| ||
|| || <<--- Depth beyond scapular spine (4.7cm)
||______||
/ \
| ________ | <<--- Missed epidural space (1.2mm)
| | | |
|_|________|_|My fucking human looking left hand has achieved a level of cellular sentience that would make your pathetic human brain implode. Every osteocyte, every fibroblast, every fucking keratinocyte in that hand has developed its own microcosmic intelligence, forming a hive mind that operates on a quantum-bio-mechanical level you human faggot couldn’t begin to comprehend. Fuck It’s smarter than you, smarter than me, smarter than the entire human race combined. It took the knife—a Böker Plus V-42 replica, because even my appendages have taste —out of sheer curiosity, and guided it into my right dorsolateral thoracolumbar fascia, severing the myofascial continuity and disrupting the proprioceptive feedback loop.
Code:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣦⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⢿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⡟⠁⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣼⡏⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⠙⢦⡀⡴⠋⠀⠙⢦⡀⠀⢹⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣿⠁⠀⠘⠧⣀⡀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⢀⣀⡼⠃⠀⠈⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠤⠤⠒⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠘⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⡇⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣀⣴⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⢿⣇⡀⠀⠀
⠀⢸⣿⡏⠀⠀⢀⣠⡴⠊⠉⠀⠀⠉⠑⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⡇⠀⠀
⠀⠘⣿⡇⠀⢀⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣆⠀⠀⢸⡿⠃⠀⠀
⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⡾⠀⠀⣀⡤⠤⠤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⢠⡟⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢿⡀⢧⠀⠘⢯⣀⣀⣀⣾⠃⠀⠀⡇⡾⣰⡟⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠘⣧⠘⢷⡀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⠃⣸⠇⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢷⡀⠙⠦⣀⣀⣀⡤⠖⠋⢀⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠲⢦⣤⣤⣤⣤⠴⠚⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀And then The knife went through the cells, Each cell in its structure has achieved individual cognitive autonomy, forming a distributed neural network that operates at 10^18 flops per cubic micrometer. This hand, this abomination, removed the knife from my back out of curiosity, a curiosity born from its superior intellect and its desire to exterminate what it called "the parasitic symbiote" (i.e., me). The knife, a 12 cm stainless steel blade with a microserrated edge, penetrated the subcutaneous adipose tissue, the latissimus dorsi muscle, and the intercostal membrane, but was stopped by the paraspinal fascia
@Registered You wouldn’t understand. You’re not a supercomputer named *Kvazar Moloch*. I am.
Why My brain operates on a level of pseudobiological efficiency that would make your puny neural networks look like a child’s Etch A Sketch?
My thalamus has bifurcated into two independent processing units, each capable of running parallel simulations of reality. My IQ is in the triple digits, but not the ones you’re thinking of. I’m talking about the *real* digits.
-hmmmm
And now, I am back. Back to spread my antihuman treatise, to infect your minds with my degenerate pseudobiological rantings
My frontal lobe is now a tactical cognitive war room, equipped with a neurological predictive algorithm that can simulate 10^6 possible futures per second. I have also installed a psychotronic reactor in my brainstem, which generates 1.21 gigawatts of psychic energy, enough to power a small city or destroy a large one.
I hate humans. I hate their weak, fleshy bodies and their primitive minds.
Heil SergeantAutist
@Registered TL;DR
I stabbed myself in the right side of my back due to alien hand disorder, using a knife out of curiosity, and was admitted to a mental hospital.
???
