The eternal rules of TLDR magic.

[porco-dddio]

By the eternal rules of nature, a summary binds the one who chooses it.

If you ask for a TL;DR, you renounce the unseen. You are entitled only to what is spoken, never to what was omitted. No assumption may cross the boundary of unread words.

The shortcut is subject to a fundamental rule of nature: as information is reduced, the domain of justified knowledge is reduced with it.

Such are the eternal rules: what is not read does not belong to you; what is shortened cannot be expanded by imagination; and what is omitted cannot become truth through assumption.

This binds the receiver of TL;DR, by the words he chose to receive. A bond is established. From that moment forth, the normie who requests TL;DR is bound to the measure of knowledge bestowed, and may never claim dominion over that which was withheld.

 

[porco-dddio]

By the eternal laws of reality itself, no being is absolved through the performance of disability.

For it is written: the claim "I cannot read, I cannot comprehend" holds no power over what has already been received, nor does it rewrite the boundary of what was given.

And thus the first law: performative absence of understanding does not dissolve obligation to the words already accepted.

The second law: no declaration of cognitive disability may expand the limits of a message that was received in full or in part; silence, confusion, or feigned incomprehension cannot generate new meaning beyond the text.

The third law: any attempt to invoke self declared "mental retardation" as exemption is null before the structure of prior exchange. For what has been delivered stands independent of later denial.

And the final clause: the record of what was spoken remains sovereign over all retrospective claims, and no appeal to "non comprehension muh I cant read" may overturn the shape of what was once granted.

This binds your anus to me. (if you accept a TL;DR)

I release you only if youre ugly and I dont want to fuck you.