The pre programming I fell victim to

[6ft4]

Despite my beliefs that I don't easily fall victim to propaganda
As an adult that may largely be the case but it's much harder to detect the propaganda you were subjected growing up that shaped your ambitions
I found this video legit as evolving into a club slayer seems like the set path growing up when you see that social circle doesn't work for aspies and opportunities to interact with strangers in a nightlife environment seems to reap much better rewards because looks matter more than social status.

Teen discos were the highlight of the school year which primed me to see nightclubs as the highlight of adult life
The programming on tv of magaluf weekender, geordie shore, what happens in kavos primed me to think that clubbing and being a slayer was the way to make up for no female attention in school.
The songs released in the last 2000s / early 2010s also made it feel like going to the club was the pinnacle of life

I basically devoted my whole life to trying to slay and while it did work, by the time I got it out of my system at 24.5 years old I was effectively the age when many athletes would be past their athletic prime.

I spent my athletic prime chasing slays rather than utilizing my energy into something more tangible

I did enjoy most of the slays and maybe it was necessary to truly get it out of my system to move on with my life because I didn't have the brain wiring to focus on any tasks before the age of 25, after turning 25 though and quitting work I managed to regain the dedication I had to youtubemaxxing as a teenager

Also the video I linked, that guy is enjoyable to listen to ramble, he makes good points

 

[newsincerity]

the only times I was social was when drunk
you can become a different person when drinking and others may love that guy
and you can like how it feels-carefree, low inhib, vibing, funny
My problem was it's not me being a cool guy it's the liquor so I always felt guilt knowing none of this is real and the connections are fake

 

[Foidkiller]

the only times I was social was when drunk
you can become a different person when drinking and others may love that guy
and you can like how it feels-carefree, low inhib, vibing, funny
My problem was it's not me being a cool guy it's the liquor so I always felt guilt knowing none of this is real and the connections are fake

So if I buy a bottle of liquor and drink it I will become social all of a sudden?