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/l/ - Lifestyle
[Two-jay lore] The true reason why my belief systems changue so much.
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<blockquote data-quote="JayJaySattva" data-source="post: 46186" data-attributes="member: 147"><p>[MEDIA=youtube]VLJrg_IteSo[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p>[ATTACH=full]7832[/ATTACH]</p><p></p><p></p><p>I don't know if you have noticed it guys, but basically the reason for that is because I suffer from some chronic conditions. It all started with a chronic rhinitis which prevented me from sleeping well, in turn, I developed problems of TMJ and fatigue due to the constant sleep deprivation. After a failed surgery I think I developed something akin to empty nose syndrome. I think I'm recovering well though, but the thing is that it is possible I will have to deal with these problems for a very long long time.</p><p></p><p>This shit has been so painful that I literally went psychotic on the 25th of November of the previous year. It lasted for two weeks and it was the most crazy experience of my life lmao. Here you can read about some posts I made when I was crazy:</p><p></p><p>[SPOILER="THREADS"]</p><p>[URL unfurl="true"]https://elysianfields.se/threads/i-embraced-spirituality-as-an-atheist-and-my-chronic-symptoms-began-to-disappear.1843/[/URL]</p><p></p><p>[URL unfurl="true"]https://elysianfields.se/threads/i-embraced-spirituality-as-an-atheist-and-my-chronic-symptoms-began-to-disappear.1843/[/URL]</p><p>[/SPOILER]</p><p></p><p>To make it short, I saw hallucinations of animals: dragons, tigers, an owl, a raven, a black beetle, a black scorpion. I saw angels, I saw demons. I became giga-giga low inhibition to the point where I could just go to a police officer and pretend saying things about terrorism or some shit like that, and also I felt like I could talk with anybody, I didn't feel any fear towards women too. It was super crazy, it was like having powers lmao. It all came down with its negative aspects too: giga-egocentrism, manipulative, and so on.</p><p></p><p>It was also during that time when I made these threads in .org:</p><p></p><p>[SPOILER="THREADS"]</p><p>[URL unfurl="true"]https://looksmax.org/threads/the-keys-to-being-an-uebermensch-mental-maxxing-to-stop-suffering.1252158/[/URL]</p><p></p><p>[URL unfurl="true"]https://looksmax.org/threads/stop-seeking-validation-from-women-normies-and-the-soyciety-you-hate-so-much.1264668/[/URL][/SPOILER]</p><p></p><p>Good times I spent on .org, I am really thankful for that damn forum. I spent a lot of time shitposting there with a bunch of other autists during those difficult times.</p><p></p><p>So yeah, after that psychosis until now, I became obsessed with decreasing my suffering as having these symptoms means I have to deal wth them as I try to have a "normal life". Spirituality has played a big part into this, specially non-duality and Buddhism. Plus, I also started to psychoanalize myself autistically in order to reduce psychological triggers. Given the disillusionment with old beliefs, it feels like creating an identity only to see it die again, and this happens over and over and over. It is pain which triggers this process. Everything for the purpose of survival, but at the same time it has been very interesting, although very painful. One of the most intensive experiences I had was when I first saw through the so called "illusion of self" just back on the 22th of June:</p><p>[SPOILER="THREAD"]</p><p></p><p>[URL unfurl="true"]https://elysianfields.se/threads/illusion-of-permanent-self-very-painful-experience.4237/#post-42388[/URL][/SPOILER]</p><p></p><p>this process has been very very painful, but fun sometimes I guess.</p><p></p><p>[USER=1]@Tabula Rasa[/USER] [USER=93]@GGWP[/USER] [USER=400]@newsincerity[/USER] [USER=10]@Sovereign[/USER] [USER=139]@autistic_tendencies[/USER]</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayJaySattva, post: 46186, member: 147"] [MEDIA=youtube]VLJrg_IteSo[/MEDIA] [ATTACH type="full" alt="1755324641972.png"]7832[/ATTACH] I don't know if you have noticed it guys, but basically the reason for that is because I suffer from some chronic conditions. It all started with a chronic rhinitis which prevented me from sleeping well, in turn, I developed problems of TMJ and fatigue due to the constant sleep deprivation. After a failed surgery I think I developed something akin to empty nose syndrome. I think I'm recovering well though, but the thing is that it is possible I will have to deal with these problems for a very long long time. This shit has been so painful that I literally went psychotic on the 25th of November of the previous year. It lasted for two weeks and it was the most crazy experience of my life lmao. Here you can read about some posts I made when I was crazy: [SPOILER="THREADS"] [URL unfurl="true"]https://elysianfields.se/threads/i-embraced-spirituality-as-an-atheist-and-my-chronic-symptoms-began-to-disappear.1843/[/URL] [URL unfurl="true"]https://elysianfields.se/threads/i-embraced-spirituality-as-an-atheist-and-my-chronic-symptoms-began-to-disappear.1843/[/URL] [/SPOILER] To make it short, I saw hallucinations of animals: dragons, tigers, an owl, a raven, a black beetle, a black scorpion. I saw angels, I saw demons. I became giga-giga low inhibition to the point where I could just go to a police officer and pretend saying things about terrorism or some shit like that, and also I felt like I could talk with anybody, I didn't feel any fear towards women too. It was super crazy, it was like having powers lmao. It all came down with its negative aspects too: giga-egocentrism, manipulative, and so on. It was also during that time when I made these threads in .org: [SPOILER="THREADS"] [URL unfurl="true"]https://looksmax.org/threads/the-keys-to-being-an-uebermensch-mental-maxxing-to-stop-suffering.1252158/[/URL] [URL unfurl="true"]https://looksmax.org/threads/stop-seeking-validation-from-women-normies-and-the-soyciety-you-hate-so-much.1264668/[/URL][/SPOILER] Good times I spent on .org, I am really thankful for that damn forum. I spent a lot of time shitposting there with a bunch of other autists during those difficult times. So yeah, after that psychosis until now, I became obsessed with decreasing my suffering as having these symptoms means I have to deal wth them as I try to have a "normal life". Spirituality has played a big part into this, specially non-duality and Buddhism. Plus, I also started to psychoanalize myself autistically in order to reduce psychological triggers. Given the disillusionment with old beliefs, it feels like creating an identity only to see it die again, and this happens over and over and over. It is pain which triggers this process. Everything for the purpose of survival, but at the same time it has been very interesting, although very painful. One of the most intensive experiences I had was when I first saw through the so called "illusion of self" just back on the 22th of June: [SPOILER="THREAD"] [URL unfurl="true"]https://elysianfields.se/threads/illusion-of-permanent-self-very-painful-experience.4237/#post-42388[/URL][/SPOILER] this process has been very very painful, but fun sometimes I guess. [USER=1]@Tabula Rasa[/USER] [USER=93]@GGWP[/USER] [USER=400]@newsincerity[/USER] [USER=10]@Sovereign[/USER] [USER=139]@autistic_tendencies[/USER] [/QUOTE]
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[Two-jay lore] The true reason why my belief systems changue so much.
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