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<blockquote data-quote="EzraIsShy76028" data-source="post: 44800" data-attributes="member: 205">By &quot;unearned&quot; I mean a compliment you got basically for nothing or for something very basic that wouldn&#039;t warrant a compliment. A compliment that feels patronizing and/or condescending but unintentionally so.I&#039;ll give some examples of this happening to me:So my elderly aunt was talking to this elderly friend of hers, and for context I know some (Brazilian) Portuguese but not a lot. And my aunt and the friend are Brazilian. And the topic of grandmas came up. And they were like &quot;does he even know what a grandma is?&quot; They were talking in Portuguese to be clear. And in Portuguese I replied &quot;a grandma is the mother of the father or mother of the child&quot; and the friend was like &quot;OH MY GOD THAT&#039;S RIGHT HE&#039;S EXTREMELY INTELLIGENT!&quot;And to be clear this is extremely common knowledge in Portuguese. Even literal toddlers know what a grandma is. And my Portuguese is shabby but that&#039;s literally one of the first things you learn in Portuguese. Cat, dog, mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, etc. So it felt insulting to my intelligence. Almost like being told I&#039;m intelligent for knowing that 2+2=4.Another one, back in 12th grade when I was 18, this elderly teacher started treating me like I was above and beyond all because I said &quot;good morning&quot; to her instead of ignoring her like all the other kids. Like she really HYPED ME UP. And my grades in her class were terrible too and I barely paid attention in class, and I wasn&#039;t even all that nice to her. Literally a &quot;good morning&quot; was all I needed to impress her. In reality I wasn&#039;t impressive. The rest of the class was just extremely rude.It felt patronizing because it almost felt like winning a medal/trophy for doing absolutely nothing. Like winning a medal just simply for breathing.Those are the two main examples I can think of. Though I probably could think of more. Coincidentally or not both instances involved elderly women. I guess elderly women really like giving out free compliments for absolutely nothing, eh?</blockquote>

[QUOTE="EzraIsShy76028, post: 44800, member: 205"] By "unearned" I mean a compliment you got basically for nothing or for something very basic that wouldn't warrant a compliment. A compliment that feels patronizing and/or condescending but unintentionally so. I'll give some examples of this happening to me: So my elderly aunt was talking to this elderly friend of hers, and for context I know some (Brazilian) Portuguese but not a lot. And my aunt and the friend are Brazilian. And the topic of grandmas came up. And they were like "does he even know what a grandma is?" They were talking in Portuguese to be clear. And in Portuguese I replied "a grandma is the mother of the father or mother of the child" and the friend was like "OH MY GOD THAT'S RIGHT HE'S EXTREMELY INTELLIGENT!" And to be clear this is extremely common knowledge in Portuguese. Even literal toddlers know what a grandma is. And my Portuguese is shabby but that's literally one of the first things you learn in Portuguese. Cat, dog, mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, etc. So it felt insulting to my intelligence. Almost like being told I'm intelligent for knowing that 2+2=4. Another one, back in 12th grade when I was 18, this elderly teacher started treating me like I was above and beyond all because I said "good morning" to her instead of ignoring her like all the other kids. Like she really HYPED ME UP. And my grades in her class were terrible too and I barely paid attention in class, and I wasn't even all that nice to her. Literally a "good morning" was all I needed to impress her. In reality I wasn't impressive. The rest of the class was just extremely rude. It felt patronizing because it almost felt like winning a medal/trophy for doing absolutely nothing. Like winning a medal just simply for breathing. Those are the two main examples I can think of. Though I probably could think of more. Coincidentally or not both instances involved elderly women. I guess elderly women really like giving out free compliments for absolutely nothing, eh? [/QUOTE]

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