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Venting A vent

Quintilian

Quintilian

earthly elegance
Staff member
Moderator
Club Contributor
Joined
Feb 24, 2024
Messages
711
I often feel that I cannot nor will ever amount to anything, mean anything to anyone. Lying to yourself is one form of self-hatred, I've spent most of my life residing in a fantasy due to the traumas inflicted upon me. I don't trust family, it seems odd that I feel more alien from them then close, I feel alone whether with them or not and all I desire is to be alone. When I get my apartment, I will be able to die alone and if not die alone- rather I will be alone and miserable. I will have my God, but I never came to him on my own merit, it will be as a phantom, sometimes I wish that if I had never gotten taken from that group home as a kid and never was taken by my father, maybe my life might have been better or maybe I would be dead mentality, but at least I would be psychologically gone.

I wish that God would take me in my sleep, because most of my life has been a failure, I might benefit for a time, but then something breaks along the way. The day I leave everything behind, I will have been so broken that I will walk as if alive, in reality who or what I was will be nonexistent. I just hope when God takes me to never come back to this realm, I hope that I perish asleep. I never lived, curse that wretched family and curse them for all their evil.

Jesus Christ, be with me always....
 
newsincerity

newsincerity

Farewell Fantasea
Goku
Joined
Jul 30, 2025
Messages
1,469
Quintilian said:
I often feel that I cannot nor will ever amount to anything, mean anything to anyone. Lying to yourself is one form of self-hatred, I've spent most of my life residing in a fantasy due to the traumas inflicted upon me. I don't trust family, it seems odd that I feel more alien from them then close, I feel alone whether with them or not and all I desire is to be alone. When I get my apartment, I will be able to die alone and if not die alone- rather I will be alone and miserable. I will have my God, but I never came to him on my own merit, it will be as a phantom, sometimes I wish that if I had never gotten taken from that group home as a kid and never was taken by my father, maybe my life might have been better or maybe I would be dead mentality, but at least I would be psychologically gone.

I wish that God would take me in my sleep, because most of my life has been a failure, I might benefit for a time, but then something breaks along the way. The day I leave everything behind, I will have been so broken that I will walk as if alive, in reality who or what I was will be nonexistent. I just hope when God takes me to never come back to this realm, I hope that I perish asleep. I never lived, curse that wretched family and curse them for all their evil.

Jesus Christ, be with me always....
Click to expand...
adopt quintilionaire mindset or become chuddha
these are the two paths
 
Schwarzwald

Schwarzwald

Void
Champion
Joined
Jan 30, 2026
Messages
2,617
Quintilian said:
I often feel that I cannot nor will ever amount to anything, mean anything to anyone. Lying to yourself is one form of self-hatred, I've spent most of my life residing in a fantasy due to the traumas inflicted upon me. I don't trust family, it seems odd that I feel more alien from them then close, I feel alone whether with them or not and all I desire is to be alone. When I get my apartment, I will be able to die alone and if not die alone- rather I will be alone and miserable. I will have my God, but I never came to him on my own merit, it will be as a phantom, sometimes I wish that if I had never gotten taken from that group home as a kid and never was taken by my father, maybe my life might have been better or maybe I would be dead mentality, but at least I would be psychologically gone.

I wish that God would take me in my sleep, because most of my life has been a failure, I might benefit for a time, but then something breaks along the way. The day I leave everything behind, I will have been so broken that I will walk as if alive, in reality who or what I was will be nonexistent. I just hope when God takes me to never come back to this realm, I hope that I perish asleep. I never lived, curse that wretched family and curse them for all their evil.

Jesus Christ, be with me always....
Click to expand...
Have you ever thought about volunteering your time? Possibly going out of country to help others? It can be very fulfilling.

That or as I have said before pick a person, group of people, or institution and cause problems for it/them without being caught.

But really we are at the cusp of a new era the lest you could do for us is wait it out with the rest of us.

1778443519384938
 
Last edited:
Depresso

Depresso

Aggressively cope-maxxing with AI and tech 🌿
Whitepill
Joined
Jun 2, 2025
Messages
583
Quintilian said:
I often feel that I cannot nor will ever amount to anything, mean anything to anyone. Lying to yourself is one form of self-hatred, I've spent most of my life residing in a fantasy due to the traumas inflicted upon me. I don't trust family, it seems odd that I feel more alien from them then close, I feel alone whether with them or not and all I desire is to be alone. When I get my apartment, I will be able to die alone and if not die alone- rather I will be alone and miserable. I will have my God, but I never came to him on my own merit, it will be as a phantom, sometimes I wish that if I had never gotten taken from that group home as a kid and never was taken by my father, maybe my life might have been better or maybe I would be dead mentality, but at least I would be psychologically gone.

I wish that God would take me in my sleep, because most of my life has been a failure, I might benefit for a time, but then something breaks along the way. The day I leave everything behind, I will have been so broken that I will walk as if alive, in reality who or what I was will be nonexistent. I just hope when God takes me to never come back to this realm, I hope that I perish asleep. I never lived, curse that wretched family and curse them for all their evil.

Jesus Christ, be with me always....
Click to expand...
Pick a hobby to cultivate. If it's something you like and relate to it can't possibly be another "cope" like those blackpill rebises say. You'll end up relating over it and developing friends. It was the frens we made during the journey all along — we're all gonna make it!

If the traumas are deep you might need some professional help.
 
Wolfstorm

Wolfstorm

Forum Regular
Hiker
Joined
Apr 7, 2026
Messages
282
Depresso said:
Pick a hobby to cultivate. If it's something you like and relate to it can't possibly be another "cope" like those blackpill rebises say. You'll end up relating over it and developing friends. It was the frens we made during the journey all along — we're all gonna make it!

If the traumas are deep you might need some professional help.
Click to expand...


In other words, you need to build.
I built a fictional world between 2010 and 2019, the map ended up being 7 meters long, you can't even print it at home.
And this was the third attempt at it, the two others being between 2001-2006 and 2006-2010.
From 2019 to today I built mods for Skyrim, my main work being a entire province complete with cities, dungeons, etc.

I didnt gave a single fuck to what people said.
I dont care if ultra-materialists obsessed with foids call it a cope. They can rot in their misery.
 
Depresso

Depresso

Aggressively cope-maxxing with AI and tech 🌿
Whitepill
Joined
Jun 2, 2025
Messages
583
Wolfstorm said:
In other words, you need to build.
I built a fictional world between 2010 and 2019, the map ended up being 7 meters long, you can't even print it at home.
And this was the third attempt at it, the two others being between 2001-2006 and 2006-2010.
From 2019 to today I built mods for Skyrim, my main work being a entire province complete with cities, dungeons, etc.

I didnt gave a single fuck to what people said.
I dont care if ultra-materialists obsessed with foids call it a cope. They can rot in their misery.
Click to expand...
What did you build the fictional world out of? Was it material or digital? Sounds really cool.


This guy who was an "incel" redditor is trying really hard to be humble and cool about changing the planet. His "cope" changed the habitat of his species. It started as a normie containment separate from his interests and it blew up.
 
OgreLTN

OgreLTN

African giant
Charon
Joined
Aug 17, 2025
Messages
310
Depresso said:
What did you build the fictional world out of? Was it material or digital? Sounds really cool.

View attachment 16315
This guy who was an "incel" redditor is trying really hard to be humble and cool about changing the planet. His "cope" changed the habitat of his species. It started as a normie containment separate from his interests and it blew up.
Click to expand...
What is this? Also brutal life quality contrast in this video.
 
Quintilian

Quintilian

earthly elegance
Staff member
Moderator
Club Contributor
Joined
Feb 24, 2024
Messages
711
Booster said:
Very relatable. My parents who were awful are gone now. I love my siblings but they have lives of their own, im all alone. These days i just pray to God to take away the pain, any way possible, i dont care if i live or die.
Click to expand...
A perfect nothing is better then an imperfect something.
 
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