Lifestyle Autism gone! Kundalini awakening after interpreting a piece of metaphysics (a gnostic excerpt from the Gospel of Thomas)

[Asgard]

My autism is gone and I can see through my anxiety. Like, WTF!? I have never felt this good before although I feel a bit feverish and I can even feel my damn heartbeats on my chest with weird sounds overlaying my tinnitus (like a cricket sound in the top of my spinal cord). However, I still forget to greet people and my ego isn't dead yet (I still get mad but I don't react to sounds anymore, b-but le science says it's placebo!!!).

However, I can't move my arms freely as they move uncoordinated and I have to actively focus on the motion. No SSRIs, no antipsychotics... Gnostic texts did the job! Screw this dimension, ha-ha-ha!

It's crazy, I don't even react to noise in general. My social anxiety is gone too. I hope this shit is permanent since I can now experience life like VR with no physical suffering.

 

[Asgard]

I recommend everyone to do this shit and try astral projection or some simple meditation (with tinnitus or breath as objects of meditation) afterwards. Your eyelids will move like crazy and your heart beats will probably feel like extremely fast (like you're on the verge of death), like you're a high speed train. This meditation shit after interpreting any metaphysics material (by deluding yourself into thinking you're only controlling a shape in this third-dimensional plane from an unknown dimension) definitely works, and it's not placebo since it's been like 4 days.

 

[Asgard]

The only problem will be intense dreams.

 

[TenzenT]

I recommend everyone to do this shit and try astral projection or some simple meditation (with tinnitus or breath as objects of meditation) afterwards. Your eyelids will move like crazy and your heart beats will probably feel like extremely fast (like you're on the verge of death), like you're a high speed train. This meditation shit after interpreting any metaphysics material (by deluding yourself into thinking you're only controlling a shape in this third-dimensional plane from an unknown dimension) definitely works, and it's not placebo since it's been like 4 days.

i actually felt this waking up, told @Loner about it, the feeling of being in a plane higher than this and be able to create objects, crazy af

 

[Asgard]

i actually felt this waking up, told @Loner about it, the feeling of being in a plane higher than this and be able to create objects, crazy af

I think this is our only life. Universe is a big bad mistake and I hope this garbage shit ceases to exist once I die.

 

[Asgard]

I've lost faith. It's all futile. Fuck everything.

 

[twojei]

My autism is gone and I can see through my anxiety. Like, WTF!? I have never felt this good before although I feel a bit feverish and I can even feel my damn heartbeats on my chest with weird sounds overlaying my tinnitus (like a cricket sound in the top of my spinal cord). However, I still forget to greet people and my ego isn't dead yet (I still get mad but I don't react to sounds anymore, b-but le science says it's placebo!!!).

However, I can't move my arms freely as they move uncoordinated and I have to actively focus on the motion. No SSRIs, no antipsychotics... Gnostic texts did the job! Screw this dimension, ha-ha-ha!

It's crazy, I don't even react to noise in general. My social anxiety is gone too. I hope this shit is permanent since I can now experience life like VR with no physical suffering.

Reminds me of the first psychosis I had. Delusional as shit jfl.

 

[Asgard]

Reminds me of the first psychosis I had. Delusional as shit jfl.

I don't have psychosis and I feel better than ever.

 

[Asgard]

Delusional as shit jfl.

I guess Tibetan Budhists are also delusional under your perspective? Anyway, whatever helps you cope the most. Believing in something more grounded in science and esotericism has helped me better than standard Western psychiatry (which has destroyed my life), and I'll bet most people can agree with the aforementioned fact. Freemasons are delusional, too. Or any esoteric fraternity you can think of. Gnostic folks are very interesting people to interact with in my opinion compared to your standard churchgoer (I might be flawed on that as my church experience has been somewhat limited in the recent past).

The problem is most people. Including my parents. They're very ego centric and toxic, which prompts me to anger and impatience. Most people are unfortunately attached to their emotions.

I'm sure you are in these forums for a reason other than boredom (normal people aren't on online forums, it's just an observation of mine and it might come across arrogant... which I'll excuse from my autism).

 

[Tabula Rasa]

I guess Tibetan Budhists are also delusional under your perspective? Anyway, whatever helps you cope the most. Believing in something more grounded in science and esotericism has helped me better than standard Western psychiatry (which has destroyed my life), and I'll bet most people can agree with the aforementioned fact. Freemasons are delusional, too. Or any esoteric fraternity you can think of. Gnostic folks are very interesting people to interact with in my opinion compared to your standard churchgoer (I might be flawed on that as my church experience has been somewhat limited in the recent past).

The problem is most people. Including my parents. They're very ego centric and toxic, which prompts me to anger and impatience. Most people are unfortunately attached to their emotions.

I'm sure you are in these forums for a reason other than boredom (normal people aren't on online forums, it's just an observation of mine and it might come across arrogant... which I'll excuse from my autism).

A lot of users end up on these forums because of bad life experiences, myself included. There are ugly guys out there living a happy life with a good family and strong social support.

 

[Asgard]

A lot of users end up on these forums because of bad life experiences, myself included. There are ugly guys out there who live a happy life with a good family and strong social support.

All people are delusional in my opinion, and mental illness in general is poorly understood after all. Judging is so easy, and so is for me.

 

[twojei]

I guess Tibetan Budhists are also delusional under your perspective?

Well, in comparison to believing in a singular god, I find that the concept of rebirth makes more sense to explain why the world is at it is, but many of these things are filled with too much woo-woo shit anyways. In my opinion, Buddhism doesn't really shines because of its metaphysics—something the Buddha said to not put too much attention on—but because of the capacity of the teachings to reduce suffering, which I agree, because many of them can be verified by personal experience during meditation.

Anyway, whatever helps you cope the most. Believing in something more grounded in science and esotericism has helped me better than standard Western psychiatry (which has destroyed my life), and I'll bet most people can agree with the aforementioned fact. Freemasons are delusional, too. Or any esoteric fraternity you can think of. Gnostic folks are very interesting people to interact with in my opinion compared to your standard churchgoer (I might be flawed on that as my church experience has been somewhat limited in the recent past).

These are all ways of seeing, and I agree that they can reduce suffering. You can interact with reality and experience it in different according to the way you see it. For example, I can believe that I'm a separated entity from the universe and that absolute free will exists for everything and everyone, and experiment with this way of seeing and see if it brings me more of less satisfaction. I can also believe that there is the Demiurge and that he feeds off of our suffering, or that rebirth is completely real, so that I can motivate myself to take meditation more seriously.

I really recommend you check the Buddhist concept of emptiness.

The problem is most people. Including my parents. They're very ego centric and toxic, which prompts me to anger and impatience. Most people are unfortunately attached to their emotions.

I'm sure you are in these forums for a reason other than boredom (normal people aren't on online forums, it's just an observation of mine and it might come across arrogant... which I'll excuse from my autism).

Yup, I wouldn't say I'm a normal person honestly.

 

[Asgard]

Yup, I wouldn't say I'm a normal person honestly.

There's no correct way as we don't hold all the answers obviously (due to the limitation of brain) and t's fine if you don't fit the neurotypical persona. And of course, I hope my comment didn't make you feel a certain way, I don't know why I told you that honestly.

Look, after we are all in this together and we obviously interpret stuff differently (when it comes to actual, deeper self-awareness) and so do most living beings in 3D. I'm average across all metrics and my takes come off as rather bland and simplistic but... we're all in this together, and that's just it. Right?

 

[Asgard]

really recommend you check the Buddhist concept of emptiness.

Again, realistically speaking and from a more grounded, scientific perspective there's obviously a not specific path in order to come up with these questions. I interpret Buddhist emptiness differently, and I call it being the observer. It has helped me tremendously through these last days and it has been life changing (at a certain degree). I still have to take some risks like getting a job so I am able to self sustain myself with food and so forth. Again, I know this somewhat comes off as rude but I don't really know how to approach this in a more humane way, so apologies in advance.

Indeed, I do believe in intelligent design but the word intelligent is, after all, just a word. But as for free will, it's a duality like most things observable in these third and fourth dimensions really.

I think we could leave these questions aside for now and wait for death since, again, this is all but an individual experience.

 

[Asgard]

I've lost faith. It's all futile. Fuck everything.

I was in a really bad headspace last night. There's simply too much negativity in my household but I believe I'm still doing quite a good job when it comes to observing my thoughts and feelings and not acting upon them recklessly.

 

[Kal]

My autism is gone and I can see through my anxiety. Like, WTF!? I have never felt this good before...

* Yesterday at 4:28 PM
....I have never felt this good before

* Yesterday at 8:28 PM
I've lost faith. It's all futile. Fuck everything.

4 hours exactly on the dot.
Impressive.

 

[Asgard]

4 hours exactly on the dot.
Impressive.

Are you sum1 by any chance? Anyway, the thing is I feel good than ever. If this is a placebo effect, then I hope this placebo effect lasts forever. I love meditation now.

 

[Kal]

I am someone, but nobody you know; but I am having a great time.

Glad you found meditation, gotta stay healthy with all our organs - and very few keep the organ of their brain healthy.

It's all futile.

True! So have a good time living life (safely and ethically tho)

 

[Asgard]

Glad you found meditation, gotta stay healthy with all our organs - and very few keep the organ of their brain healthy.

I haven't felt this good for years. It's even way better than both antipsychotics and SSRIs. I still have to work on my anxiety overall (and my anger issues, too). Mindfulness comes into play here, although I prefer the Christian 'Gnostic' and Buddhist approach.

 

[Asgard]

True! So have a good time living life (safely and ethically tho)

I didn't really mean that as my anger overcame my tranquil state (although I don't feel anger as I did before, it's very temporary lasting a minute or so as I can observe better my thoughts without necessarily prompting me a reaction). I visualize life as a temporary passage and it's more probable there is more than this 3D perspective.

So, we'll have to wait until our deaths for truth to be "truly" exposed but on the meantime, I would like to follow this stuff I've exposed before thoroughly. I just don't hope the universe turns out to be cyclical and this matter ends up rearranged as a human again (but I still believe in that invisible, unknown energy that belies past our current dimensions, AKA consciousness).

 

[Asgard]

4 hours exactly on the dot.
Impressive.

Hm, synchronicities. I didn't really notice those timestamps, lol.