Days when I'm less suicidal are much more difficult

[Abhorrence]

There are days when I'm sure i will 100% rope in the near future as my life has gone wrong in nearly every way possible, and this feeling is quite peaceful as the only thing I have to think about is how and when I will rope.

However, when I think there is still hope, it becomes overwhelming because I have to find out how I could solve my dozens of problems, what will happen to me as the world becomes increasingly unliveable etc.