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How old you feel is largely due to life freedom and feelings of self contentment

The Enlightened One
Joined
Jun 6, 2025
Messages
36
When I randomly think back to some uni days when I was 18-19, I don't automatically think that I felt a decade younger back then and would instantly trade places with my current self to go back,
In fact I think that the life you live where you are not content with your appearance doesn't actually allow you to truly feel young because you are not living in the moment
When you aren't content with your appearance and constantly thinking about the future in terms of ascending with gymcelling or surgery and skipping social events because you feel they're pointless in your current looks state, you've already said goodbye to your youth and while you can't be defined as old, you're moreso in a "life on pause while world keeps moving forward" purgatory zone

When I think back to the shitty clothes I wore in my first year of uni and the shitty haircut I had by today's standards I am thankful that things have moved on because being a skinny, style-less hair halo-less 18 year old doesn't actually make you feel young in day to day life compared to how young you feel by ascending in these areas when you get older.

Yes I will never be able to re-capture the enthusiasm I had for interacting with new people from September to March in my first year of uni, but that was only a brief window in time where I could accept my base looks level enough to just run behaviour game until I got burnt out and decided I needed to ascend physically to get better results.

Living in shitty old degenerating housing in uni accomodation, wearing clothing that was too tight to try show off a year of natty gains and being pale with some acne and a shit haircut while in second year of uni really had me in an old as fuck mind state looking back on it because I no longer had the naive, nothing to lose enthusiasm I had in the first year of uni

Completing your look (style + face&body) and feeling content with your aesthetics is a major factor in feeling young mentally, but another factor is freedom in life.

The stress of having to submit shitty uni projects is a hinderance to enjoying the party life because it's always in the back of your mind and partying is often to put off responsibility of doing the task for a while longer
I partied way harder in the year I finished uni and had no deadlines or academic demands and was working part time because it was the first time I was free of the education system thus the first time I actually felt free because I no longer had to dedicate my mental energy to mental tasks I didn't want to do which is when my mind is at ease
I was working a shitty shop job to fund my nights out after finishing uni and while it caused mental exhaustion at times, it isn't the same as the frustration from knowing you have to waste your valuable mental points on coming up with some shitty essay before a deadline.
In work you can just switch your brain off and leave everything at the door once your shift ends

So when I eventually stopped working alltogether it was even more ideal and felt like an extended summer holiday where my brain was now free enough to actually work on the things I'm passionate about
When I became content with my appearance and was off work full time and only doing tasks I want to do or enjoy, I mentally de-aged myself to the point where I feel like a 16-17 y/o on summer holidays, I feel even younger than my university self mentally
 
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