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Well after a while thinking about very illogical spiritual ideas I concluded that the real problem I need to answer is how do I gain either success, fulfillment, or control or substitute them(probably impossible). And I concluded that success or strength was only going to give you comfort with the money (control) and the compliments from others and self confidence which I'm not sure is the same as happiness. I imagine there's plenty of insecure people with only their jobs to get them going though so you may need to be truly confident you can handle almost anything. It may also help you avoid a feeling of shame which might be engrained in people to motivate them to contribute to society and not be culled as many cultures had outcasts and sterilization. And shameless people are even more disliked most likely.
I'm pretty sure control matters though just for survival and destressing and would reduce my paranoia and rampant theorization and desperation.
Fulfillment is interesting and I theorize that to gain fulfillment you only need to be around something for a very long time without it fucking you. As an example I have been watching League of Legends esports for over 10 years by now and I feel very safe around it. It hasn't harmed me really in over a decade unlike black people for example so I feel pretty certain that I would enjoy spending another 10 years with it and envision a happy life with it. It makes me feel safe which I theorize is "fulfillment", finding things that make you feel safe and that you can ensure you have in the future. And I imagine with enough fulfillment you may almost be able to circumvent the need for success and control.
But wait a minute what about people who smoke cigarettes for 10 years and then suddenly die. Well, that is because they may have felt fulfilled but didn't actually recognize the real thing they were doing. I imagine if you can combine that longevity with something that actually won't fuck you over you will feel be okay.
