If i perish

[Quintilian]

Easy as I came, easy as I went. Existence was brutish a life unspent. What living did I do whilst I lived? I existed, all whilst in my room, a stayed there, lived there and resided within a prison I enjoyed. How much hate does one have to have towards himself to live in such a manner? Truly, one must hate himself much. When I perish, it will be for me all a bad dream, it will be nice to never know a body, to never be guilt tripped into believing that I was never enough for not having achieved certain task. I will never have to worry about legacy, nor will I fear having my body beaten or an animal eating me. I will have been liken to a thought, a lonely thought, a homeless thought, would it not be fair to live perfectly? A perfect nothing is better than an imperfect something.

 

[porco-dddio]

Im being honest I dont like your poetry but I like your thought instead. I can say yes your diagnosis is true probably, you already suspect whats making you immobile is you hate yourself. Fascinating that you already know, and also you write shit poetry. Did you try to take poetry classes? I am sure once you get better at poetry, your self hate will go away and you will become able to express power thru your art.