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Today I had a "non-dual" experience in which I began to contemplate, albeit in a materialistic way, the concept of emptiness (sunyata) or, similarly, the lack of inherent existence in things. I started from the smallest units—atoms—forming molecules, forming tissues, forming neurons, forming muscles, and so on, until reaching the brain. In turn, how those neurons form electrical impulses, and consequently how those electrical impulses form the field of consciousness and the thoughts that reside there. From there a realization arose that there is no "self" behind this entire process. I meditated pleasurely after that.
I suppose there was a temporary collapse of identity, especially of that person who complained that the life they had wasn't the one they wanted. In a way, despite being a very brief experience, I felt the emptiness of such a person or identity, of all their aspirations and frustrations. There was a fall, a small liberation.
In the end, I was left with a feeling of fear, because despite dealing with chronic symptoms, letting go of the victim role produces fear. It's scary for me not to be a victim.
I suppose there was a temporary collapse of identity, especially of that person who complained that the life they had wasn't the one they wanted. In a way, despite being a very brief experience, I felt the emptiness of such a person or identity, of all their aspirations and frustrations. There was a fall, a small liberation.
In the end, I was left with a feeling of fear, because despite dealing with chronic symptoms, letting go of the victim role produces fear. It's scary for me not to be a victim.
