I was a Satanist not long ago
Lead me to being a transsexual sex worker
Jesus saved me from that
Without Jesus idk if there's a solid logical argument I shouldn't go back and be a trans sexual sex worker
Speaking of this, my current philosophy of destruction has the same problem, it dont prevents from seeking pleasure in all sources as long it does not affects my looksmaxxing program, in this way trannies, guys, girls, anything, it focus on the warrior archetype by Carl Jung, since my shadow self manifets as the warrior for years now, and every attempt of creating something better (Jesus, gym, friends, writing fantansy, psychology course, looksmaxxing), result nothing but destruction and repeated failures, as if the darkness itself is calling me in the end. Basically i got a manifestation of the shadow by seeking meaning through combat(martial arts, army, mercenary work).
Should i just focus on my writing dream? Even if, my natural looksmaxxing potential is not that high and maybe even trough surgery, would not change that much.
Basically the brutal reality of life cant be conquered by improving of one self, thanks to the imposed limitations and the excess of comparison with the others, thinking of this:
looks thread.
Stats: 5'10.5 potential: 5'11.7
Face: Tanned low MTN potential: White mid-high MTN with green eyes
Body: Lean muscular potential: Zyzz