Help Retarded and lack cognitive empathy, or literacy skills. How to copy empathy things to my intuition?

[deaf_judger]

I don't know what causes this, but it is most likely isolation, that it is me not having to do any of this. In that way, it could be a useful adaptation, though it makes writing, and expressing emotions harder.

I first noticed this issue when I read a simple story. I'm going to include summarized parts of my internal monologue:

There's a lighthouse keeper who has kept the same light burning for thirty years. Ships pass, some near, some far off on the edge of sight, and he's never once seen a wreck — not on his watch. He takes pride in that, quietly, the way people do with things nobody else notices. One evening a young sailor visits the tower, curious about the old man's life, and asks him what the light is actually for. The keeper doesn't answer right away. He just points out at the dark water, where nothing is visible at all, and says, "Most nights, I don't even know if anyone's out there looking at it."
[Thinking]

1. The lighthouse helps ships know where they are, and avoid dangers.
2. No ships have wrecked near his lighthouse
3 .Ships passed, and some were near, so he has seen ships go by the lighthouse.
So then, the lighthouse is doing its job. Wait, just because ships don't hit the coast, does not mean that's because of the lighthouse-that would be a logical fallacy right? So, he isn't sure what he is doing has an effect. I don't know what the light stands in for. But, I think. If I wasn't sure that what I was doing had an effect on anything, I might give up on doing things-feel defeated, but he's doesn't look defeated-how does defeat look like? Seems like, he's doing it for the sake of doing it, or he might as well do it even if it means nothing.
I can't disprove or prove that based on the text,
[Thinking]

I paused here, because 'doing it for the sake of x..' is a conclusion I always reach with things like this, because it is short and neat, but it's also not certain-I only reached this conclusion because I know he wasn't defeated, so something must fill there. Then, when I am partnered I don't stop early, because another person will ask more. Not talking much usually means it will end here.

No, I can prove he is doing it for it, Text says "He takes in pride in that", but it also says "...don't know if anyone's ... looking at it", No this is wrong. That shown there means he's uncertain of the outcome, not that he doesn't care. Wait, what does indifference sound like? His hesitation shows that he does care and wonders if boats are there. Then, my previous conclusion was wrong, and intuition says I should not waste time here.

If he takes pride, but is wondering, hesitating, are these contradictory? No, consider the timeframes. That part of the text talks about his record-"he has never once seen a wreck", but his hesitant answer is only when he asks. No, tunnel vision is ruining my interpretation again. He says "most nights", so he experiences this feeling frequently, but is proud of his overall record?

This took me around 5-10 minutes. I managed to connect the story to test or performance anxiety. I usually do good on things, but I'm always stressed when it is time to do them.
But, this took too long for me to like. I notice I'm wasting time on the wrong questions, and reasoning for too long. This should be baked into your intution right?
I'm going to try slowly reading more complicated short stories and doing something similar, until the process compresses, then I can move on to seeing how people feel in real life quickly.
It would be preferable to know which patterns are more likely to show emotion, so I don't have to waste time, and I also must know what doesn't need to be reasoned.
I know other people can do this quickly with a shortcut. Can you do something like this, then show your process? How do you usually read, or write people?

 

[Budan]

I dont get what the 2nd quote means
What didnt you understand about the story?

 

[deaf_judger]

I dont get what the 2nd quote means
What didnt you understand about the story?

Not much about the story itself. I understood it eventually. The first part of the second quote was me dropping the idea of interpreting his motivation. I proved the statement "I can't prove or disprove .. that he is doing it for the sake of it" wrong by showing that he did care about the results. Then, I reached an acceptable understanding at the end. It only took too long, and I wasted time on other paths.

 

[newsincerity]

@deaf_judger I want to read your stuff
I pay you drachma

 

[Apollo Tenzen]

I don't know what causes this, but it is most likely isolation, that it is me not having to do any of this. In that way, it could be a useful adaptation, though it makes writing, and expressing emotions harder.

I first noticed this issue when I read a simple story. I'm going to include summarized parts of my internal monologue:


I paused here, because 'doing it for the sake of x..' is a conclusion I always reach with things like this, because it is short and neat, but it's also not certain-I only reached this conclusion because I know he wasn't defeated, so something must fill there. Then, when I am partnered I don't stop early, because another person will ask more. Not talking much usually means it will end here.


This took me around 5-10 minutes. I managed to connect the story to test or performance anxiety. I usually do good on things, but I'm always stressed when it is time to do them.
But, this took too long for me to like. I notice I'm wasting time on the wrong questions, and reasoning for too long. This should be baked into your intution right?
I'm going to try slowly reading more complicated short stories and doing something similar, until the process compresses, then I can move on to seeing how people feel in real life quickly.
It would be preferable to know which patterns are more likely to show emotion, so I don't have to waste time, and I also must know what doesn't need to be reasoned.
I know other people can do this quickly with a shortcut. Can you do something like this, then show your process? How do you usually read, or write people?

I don't really see any problem with this text. It depicts a genuine lighthouse keeper, not just some random mercenary. It seems like a story about human willpower, the need for connection, and the fundamental fear of failure. Did you ever finish the book *To the Lighthouse*?
Perhaps, instead of applying logic to understand a character, you could simply hold brainstorming sessions to develop them—that is, if you are the one writing the story.

I wrote a draft about a character creation process; it doesn't exactly follow deep logic, but relies more on intuition and reasoning driven by trauma. As humans, we tend to follow internal rational thoughts stemming from our subconscious.