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I had the majority of my sexual encounters between mid 2017 to early 2020
During that time slaying was like a drug for me
I could get a slay but once the post slay dopamine had wore off, I'd feel a sense of agitation and fomo if I saw some high sex appeal slag in a spandex gymwear outfit, cursing my life that I have desire to slay her but can only express my slaying desire with random club foids when drunk
I've evolved a lot mentally over the course of 6 years as is expected, and after recently getting a slay where I was looking forward to the meetup with the foid because she was physically my type, I can't help but feel that the majority of the stimulation I got from slaying in the past came from the fact I was so focused on the material thus to go without slaying caused me pain.
Therefore getting slays are more stimulating when going without is painful
When you stop caring enough whereby going without is no longer so painful, actually getting it isn't that stimulating because you aren't getting that rush of satisfying a desperate craving like an addict.
I now view sex as more of a spiritual encounter / energy exchange whereas before, I recognized that moreso on a subconscious level but I was more focused on the primal aspect of sex
When you don't have that same primal drive to ravage some random chubster you met 20 minutes ago, you begin to question: does this foid possess a soul of any value or is she legit just a script adhering NPC with no conscious thought thus no real soul value
This means that the chance of me having satisfying sex has plummeted compared to years ago because I'm now even more of a standardcel and the amount of girls I can get aroused enough by to the point where I actually think slaying them is worth the effort, the chance they actually have a non corrupted soul on top of that is giga slim
This is liberating now knowing that the chance of me finding a foid to slay that gives me some gratification is giga slim so I may as well just spend all of my time doing shit I enjoy with zero concern about the prospect of slaying again and maybe if I excel at something it will happen where opportunities come my way
During that time slaying was like a drug for me
I could get a slay but once the post slay dopamine had wore off, I'd feel a sense of agitation and fomo if I saw some high sex appeal slag in a spandex gymwear outfit, cursing my life that I have desire to slay her but can only express my slaying desire with random club foids when drunk
I've evolved a lot mentally over the course of 6 years as is expected, and after recently getting a slay where I was looking forward to the meetup with the foid because she was physically my type, I can't help but feel that the majority of the stimulation I got from slaying in the past came from the fact I was so focused on the material thus to go without slaying caused me pain.
Therefore getting slays are more stimulating when going without is painful
When you stop caring enough whereby going without is no longer so painful, actually getting it isn't that stimulating because you aren't getting that rush of satisfying a desperate craving like an addict.
I now view sex as more of a spiritual encounter / energy exchange whereas before, I recognized that moreso on a subconscious level but I was more focused on the primal aspect of sex
When you don't have that same primal drive to ravage some random chubster you met 20 minutes ago, you begin to question: does this foid possess a soul of any value or is she legit just a script adhering NPC with no conscious thought thus no real soul value
This means that the chance of me having satisfying sex has plummeted compared to years ago because I'm now even more of a standardcel and the amount of girls I can get aroused enough by to the point where I actually think slaying them is worth the effort, the chance they actually have a non corrupted soul on top of that is giga slim
This is liberating now knowing that the chance of me finding a foid to slay that gives me some gratification is giga slim so I may as well just spend all of my time doing shit I enjoy with zero concern about the prospect of slaying again and maybe if I excel at something it will happen where opportunities come my way
