- Joined
- May 19, 2026
- Messages
- 1,495
- Thread Author
- #1
I was 18. Go out of HS and I realized I was a loser without an education. I done classical studies, which taught me nothing of value. I knew close to nothing in terms of tech. I had a very rudimentary science education. I had no idea what job to do, because I knew no job.
I join university, but intentionally I pick one that is easy. I go economy. But what I seen there depressed me. Everyone else was from professional schools, everyone was a mental midget unable to connect 2 ideas together. The school materials were sub pair, and the math was lower level compared to year 3 highschool textbooks. The material to study was super easy.
Nobody asked us to read books, nobody did any debate, nobody was prepared to argue his theory, nobody cared. The primary concern of everyone was doing party, organize a seemingly endless stream of parties. It was all depressing, and I realized my plan to "have fun" in life backfired, and instead I just shot myself in the balls. Picking a course famous for the stupidity of teachers and students was a horrid mistake. I thought it would have been a breeze, easy life. It instead was one of the darkest moments I lived in my life.
The part where you dont study is true tho. Economy and sociology really are easy as fuck. The problem is youre surrounded, completely surrounded by normies who press your body physically. And youre not online, no escape.
So I start to learn "tech"... And imagine what could have been. I knew nothing. I considered "tech" simply learning HTML, which is embarrassing. I know highschool kids can do robot arms by age 16, I seen it. I purchased also an arduino kit to learn electronics 101. I learned javascript later. I learned also c# eventually. And I was reading all the time.
By age 21 I realized I was chaotic and directionless. But before I was able to focus I took many years. So I decided to mnemonics and I have read these life coachey books about how to retain info. So my new "master plan" was that I would be able to recapture all the information that I didnt study before, faster and with help of chemicals. I used nootropics and modafinil. I was doing reading sessions.
By age 28 I decided to try videogames. Because I always thought it would be fun to live a life where you can have hentai and games. I learn 3D in 1 year. I do some pornimations. I do my addon, I do some scripts. I struggle with procrastination and loss of motivation. I done some minigames, very simple ones.
Now for some reason I got procrastination to deal with, an issue that mutilated my time for a long ass period. I didnt have it before, and I dont know why it came. In my mind, its simply due to broad antisocial demoralization present everywhere in my society.
So the demoralization somehow entered in my skin. Which sucks. I learned to cope with it only lately. By doing trips outside, by separating from normies yet another time.
Now Im doing what I call "cope renovation". Normies do house renovation, I do it with copes. I am refreshing and rebooting my copes. I am utilizing some of the many ideas I wrote in journals. I am my own goldmine, I got endless ideas I never done.
I join university, but intentionally I pick one that is easy. I go economy. But what I seen there depressed me. Everyone else was from professional schools, everyone was a mental midget unable to connect 2 ideas together. The school materials were sub pair, and the math was lower level compared to year 3 highschool textbooks. The material to study was super easy.
Nobody asked us to read books, nobody did any debate, nobody was prepared to argue his theory, nobody cared. The primary concern of everyone was doing party, organize a seemingly endless stream of parties. It was all depressing, and I realized my plan to "have fun" in life backfired, and instead I just shot myself in the balls. Picking a course famous for the stupidity of teachers and students was a horrid mistake. I thought it would have been a breeze, easy life. It instead was one of the darkest moments I lived in my life.
The part where you dont study is true tho. Economy and sociology really are easy as fuck. The problem is youre surrounded, completely surrounded by normies who press your body physically. And youre not online, no escape.
So I start to learn "tech"... And imagine what could have been. I knew nothing. I considered "tech" simply learning HTML, which is embarrassing. I know highschool kids can do robot arms by age 16, I seen it. I purchased also an arduino kit to learn electronics 101. I learned javascript later. I learned also c# eventually. And I was reading all the time.
By age 21 I realized I was chaotic and directionless. But before I was able to focus I took many years. So I decided to mnemonics and I have read these life coachey books about how to retain info. So my new "master plan" was that I would be able to recapture all the information that I didnt study before, faster and with help of chemicals. I used nootropics and modafinil. I was doing reading sessions.
By age 28 I decided to try videogames. Because I always thought it would be fun to live a life where you can have hentai and games. I learn 3D in 1 year. I do some pornimations. I do my addon, I do some scripts. I struggle with procrastination and loss of motivation. I done some minigames, very simple ones.
Now for some reason I got procrastination to deal with, an issue that mutilated my time for a long ass period. I didnt have it before, and I dont know why it came. In my mind, its simply due to broad antisocial demoralization present everywhere in my society.
So the demoralization somehow entered in my skin. Which sucks. I learned to cope with it only lately. By doing trips outside, by separating from normies yet another time.
Now Im doing what I call "cope renovation". Normies do house renovation, I do it with copes. I am refreshing and rebooting my copes. I am utilizing some of the many ideas I wrote in journals. I am my own goldmine, I got endless ideas I never done.
