Essay The message I sent my therapist about the brutality of trauma.

[JayJaySattva]

Right now, I believe I am at the very core of what I would call the 'loss of (CENSORED)'.

I believe it is something extremely traumatic due to the circumstances in which it occurred. The body failed, the mind failed, the circumstances failed. Everything felt like a cruel conspiracy against the JayJaySattva of that moment, who was trying so hard to do things right.

So, it is like a living testament—like those brands they sear into livestock with a red-hot iron—of how circumstances can feel like the very definition of hell on earth. I don’t think I can express the magnitude of the tragedy contained within that act, because in itself, it feels infinite. There is a brutality, something so ruthless in all of this, something so utterly cruel that it is inexpressible.

All of this conditions an infinite cynicism; I am unable to buy into the nonsense or the 'pretty stories' that are so prevalent out there."

 

[Schwarzwald]

Right now, I believe I am at the very core of what I would call the 'loss of (CENSORED)'.

I believe it is something extremely traumatic due to the circumstances in which it occurred. The body failed, the mind failed, the circumstances failed. Everything felt like a cruel conspiracy against the JayJaySattva of that moment, who was trying so hard to do things right.

So, it is like a living testament—like those brands they sear into livestock with a red-hot iron—of how circumstances can feel like the very definition of hell on earth. I don’t think I can express the magnitude of the tragedy contained within that act, because in itself, it feels infinite. There is a brutality, something so ruthless in all of this, something so utterly cruel that it is inexpressible.

All of this conditions an infinite cynicism; I am unable to buy into the nonsense or the 'pretty stories' that are so prevalent out there."

I'm sorry bro

I wish I could help.