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Why fathers matter

Joined
Sep 12, 2025
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90
This video is a conversation titled "Why Fathers Matter - Dr Anna Machin" between host Chris Williamson and evolutionary anthropologist Dr. Anna Machin. The discussion challenges myths about fatherhood and explains the unique, essential biological, and social role of fathers in human evolution and child development.


Key Insights from the Conversation​


Challenging Myths and Biological Imperatives​


  • Fathers Are Instinctive Parents: Dr. Machin argues that the idea that men are not instinctive parents is a "complete fiction" and one of the most damaging myths [01:06]. She states that men are as biologically primed to parent as women are, and this myth only undermines a man's confidence [01:35].
  • Fathers Saved the Species: Due to the evolutionary challenge of human bipedalism narrowing the birth canal combined with babies' increasingly large heads, human infants had to be born prematurely, making them helpless [02:54]. Roughly 500,000 years ago, fathers had to step in and invest in their offspring to ensure their survival, preventing human extinction [04:05]. This makes humans one of the only apes and a rarity among mammals (only 5% have investing fathers) [04:17].
  • Testosterone Drops for Fatherhood: A man's testosterone, which is typically high to help him find a mate, drops significantly (up to a third) upon becoming a father and will not return to its pre-birth level as long as he remains in contact with the child [01:12:01]. This physiological change reduces the blocking effect of high testosterone on bonding hormones, increasing motivation to care [01:19:43].

The New Father's Journey and Bonding​


  • The Emotional Lag: New fathers often feel guilt and shame because they don't experience the immediate surge of bonding hormones that mothers do after childbirth [01:16:39]. Dr. Machin stresses that this lack of immediate intense emotion is completely normal for men, whose bond is built through interaction and only accelerates after the baby is born [01:18:20].
  • The Power of Skin-to-Skin Contact: It is critical for a father to have skin-to-skin contact with the baby immediately after birth [01:27:41]. This is not routinely offered to men but is vital because it:
    • Allows the baby to smell and learn who the father is [01:28:24].
    • Triggers behavioral synchrony, causing the baby's physiology (heart rate, temperature, blood pressure) to match the father's [01:28:34].
    • Releases key bonding hormones like oxytocin and beta-endorphin [01:28:49].

The Father's Unique Developmental Role​


  • Social Scaffolding: Evolution has designed the father's role to be a separate, unique, and important input [01:14:55]. The father's primary function is to scaffold the child's entry into the world beyond the family [01:32:45]. This includes:
    • Developing skills in social cognition, such as empathy, sharing, caring, and navigating the complexities of social life [01:32:16].
    • Building resilience to deal with challenge and failure [01:32:45].
  • Rough and Tumble Play: This is a crucial activity that starts around six to nine months and helps a child learn about reciprocity, social relationships, empathy, and risk assessment [01:36:55]. It's a high-return-on-investment (ROI) bonding strategy for fathers who are often "time poor" in Western cultures [01:39:31], as the physical activity causes a rapid release of bonding hormones [01:38:27].
  • The Superhero of Mental Resilience: The relationship a child has with their father is the single biggest factor in their mental health during adolescence [01:37:21], acting as the "superhero of mental resilience" for both boys and girls [01:37:27]. This secure attachment is linked to higher self-esteem and lower rates of depression, anxiety, and loneliness in young adulthood [01:43:55].

The Empathy Gap and Need for Support​


  • The Zero-Sum Game of Empathy: Dr. Machin highlights the "gamma bias" or empathy gap where society struggles to offer support to men without seeing it as a "loss" for women [01:54:00]. This leads to men suffering from postnatal depression being told to "pull themselves together," a standard not applied to mothers [01:55:57].
  • Need for Co-Parent Recognition: Governments and medical professionals need to recognize fathers as true co-parents [02:00:02]. Providing resources, like equal paternity leave, benefits children, reduces the career penalty for mothers, and is ultimately good for society [01:59:42].

 
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