Negativity Emptiness

[Aethus]

Even if i always was surrounded by friends closer or more distant i always felt lonely
It's like their brain chemistry is different than mine and they all perceive world in way i can't

 

[cosmicx16]

It's like their brain chemistry is different than mine

It is

they all perceive world in way i can't

They are different, but not superior to you, if you can think that way then you won't be stuck here

 

[cosmicx16]

It is cope but cope is all you can do, ur young anyway

 

[wait whattt? :o]

It is

They are different, but not superior to you, if you can think that way then you won't be stuck here

Something well-natured and true that came out of you for once since I got here, how ironic

 

[Aethus]

They are different, but not superior to you, if you can think that way then you won't be stuck here

I don't know all i see is some degenerated schizo who was snorting mephedrone at age 15, now taking steroids at 17 and has experience with witchcraft. i just hate how there always is contrast between me and the others. i will always be an misfit. but people put on masks anyway and try to make themselves look better so fuck them
i wonder is it result of being fatherless or having undiagnosed disorder

 

[wait whattt? :o]

I don't know all i see is some degenerated schizo who was snorting mephedrone at age 15, now taking steroids at 17 and has experience with witchcraft. i just hate how there always is contrast between me and the others. i will always be an misfit. but people put on masks anyway and try to make themselves look better so fuck them
i wonder is it result of being fatherless or having undiagnosed disorder

Probably both.

Don't concern yourself with others too much, honestly. We are all fucked, and we aren't that much better than you are. It's lonely out there, but what can you do? You can try to learn to keep yourself company at most :/

 

[Schwarzwald]

I don't know all i see is some degenerated schizo who was snorting mephedrone at age 15, now taking steroids at 17 and has experience with witchcraft. i just hate how there always is contrast between me and the others. i will always be an misfit. but people put on masks anyway and try to make themselves look better so fuck them
i wonder is it result of being fatherless or having undiagnosed disorder

You should embrace the otherness that is you, the unique light you shine.

 

[160cmcurry]

even if you somehow succeed socially after being behind all those years you still feel mentally behind with the people you’re with

they reference things, dynamics, unspoken rules you were never around to learn, and you’re just trying to keep up in real time

you can improve but there’s always that gap between where you are and where you “should’ve been” if things played out normally.

 

[Aethus]

even if you somehow succeed socially after being behind all those years you still feel mentally behind with the people you’re with

they reference things, dynamics, unspoken rules you were never around to learn, and you’re just trying to keep up in real time

you can improve but there’s always that gap between where you are and where you “should’ve been” if things played out normally.

I'm thinking of going to therapy, maybe there's still a chance to partially rebuild my brain

 

[Memento Mori]

I'm thinking of going to therapy, maybe there's still a chance to partially rebuild my brain

Therapy is pretty hit or miss tbh, it's mostly designed to bs you. You're better off talking to someone you trust irl about your problems

 

[Memento Mori]

Therapy is a modern invention, people didn't need to go and see a therapist in ages past

 

[160cmcurry]

I'm thinking of going to therapy, maybe there's still a chance to partially rebuild my brain

some people are cognitively fucked no matter what. but a therapist can help pinpoint your problems, not really a solution but it could help show you what’s going on with you specifically giving you a clearer map of where you stand. ideally having a partner or someone that accepts your flaws and loves you for who you are can help you tremendously

 

[Aethus]

Therapy is pretty hit or miss tbh, it's mostly designed to bs you. You're better off talking to someone you trust irl about your problems

I'm thinking of specific therapies rather than talking to someone, reprogramming me and teaching social skills. For example somatic therapy, which could teach my nervous system to stay on during stress, because what happens to me is that every time i experience extreme stress my emotions shut down and go into dissociation, i sound like robot during conflicts
Other than that i think of cognitive behavioural therapy and schema therapy
I plan to sign into any of these this week

 

[Memento Mori]

I'm thinking of specific therapies rather than talking to someone, reprogramming me and teaching social skills. For example somatic therapy, which could teach my nervous system to stay on during stress, because what happens to me is that every time i experience extreme stress my emotions shut down and go into dissociation, i sound like robot during conflicts
Other than that i think of cognitive behavioural therapy and schema therapy
I plan to sign into any of these this week

Do you have social anxiety?

 

[Aethus]

Do you have social anxiety?

No

 

[Memento Mori]

No

What particular troubles do you have with socializing?

 

[Aethus]

What particular troubles do you have with socializing?

- shutting down emotionally under stress, creating conflicts instead of diplomatically explaining situation
- adjusting myself to others, even to point where it feels like i have multiple personalities, seeking approval
- issues with self esteem and identity, attention and compliments from others don't affect me because i believe deep down that i can be better
- i can't talk to a girl without acting more feminine
- i don't behave within bounds of social norms
it took me long to decide if i should reply because i don't want to look like desperate attention whore when all of us here have our own problems

 

[Memento Mori]

- shutting down emotionally under stress, creating conflicts instead of diplomatically explaining situation
- adjusting myself to others, even to point where it feels like i have multiple personalities, seeking approval
- issues with self esteem and identity, attention and compliments from others don't affect me because i believe deep down that i can be better
- i can't talk to a girl without acting more feminine
- i don't behave within bounds of social norms

I guess you should think about your goals in regards to socializing. Is it something casual that's more surface-level or are you trying to build life-long friendships?

it took me long to decide if i should reply because i don't want to look like desperate attention whore when all of us here have our own problems

Don't think you're posting for attention, you're free to express whatever you want. If you don't find it comfortable you could have chose not to elaborate, that's fine too.

 

[johnvee]

- shutting down emotionally under stress, creating conflicts instead of diplomatically explaining situation
- adjusting myself to others, even to point where it feels like i have multiple personalities, seeking approval
- issues with self esteem and identity, attention and compliments from others don't affect me because i believe deep down that i can be better
- i can't talk to a girl without acting more feminine
- i don't behave within bounds of social norms
it took me long to decide if i should reply because i don't want to look like desperate attention whore when all of us here have our own problems

Those things will improve with age, I used to be so socially awkward, I just learned to not GAF as I got older, when you don't give a fuck things go a lot smoother, you probably just have too much self awareness.

 

[voiceofreason77]

even if you somehow succeed socially after being behind all those years you still feel mentally behind with the people you’re with

they reference things, dynamics, unspoken rules you were never around to learn, and you’re just trying to keep up in real time

you can improve but there’s always that gap between where you are and where you “should’ve been” if things played out normally.

Who the fuck cares about what they know

You spent time levelling up spiritually and staying away from fucking normies and their bullshit

Everyone has their own path

 

[voiceofreason77]

Even if i always was surrounded by friends closer or more distant i always felt lonely
It's like their brain chemistry is different than mine and they all perceive world in way i can't

Do you lack the oxytocin gene ? I wonder if it's true that some people feel less stressed because they are more empathetic and more in tune with others

 

[Aethus]

Do you lack the oxytocin gene ? I wonder if it's true that some people feel less stressed because they are more empathetic and more in tune with others

No, on the opposite, i have more empathy than average person

 

[voiceofreason77]

No, on the opposite, i have more empathy than average person

Ok then you would be more overwhelmed by peoples emotional state then I suppose