Schizoid is becoming unbearable. I don't know how people talk to anyone, it's legitimately painful for me to do so in my fading oldcel years.
Do not want to offend you, but maybe learning to deal with your illness could be the next step to reaching and feeling more happy than any person you have ever met.
It was when I decided to not run away from my schizophrenia, when I accepted the pain of possibly becoming a full schizophrenic that I started to be able to dominate it.
Do not run away from your problems, just realize that you have to do nothing. Just become the observer, detach yourself from the illness, and you will be able to dominate it.
Don't do anything, just observe and listen. No judgement, no attachment.