I'm 34 and extremely sex driven, but I have never been able to achieve orgasm when fucking, and rarely able to achieve orgasm by wanking when in company. There are deep psychological reasons behind this, of which I have largely worked through, but the inability to achieve orgasm is a vestigial legacy of this.
The bonus side-effect of this is that I can fuck for ages, almost always being able to make my partner achieve orgasm, and that's what I get off on (but even if they don't orgasm, so long as we've both had fun - and yes, I would trade that for being a 2 minute man, but we all have to make do with what we have). It used to frustrate me (no pun intended) a great deal that I couldn't achieve orgasm while fucking, but I have learned to be comfortable with it. Occasionally, I do find a partner who is like you, who gets frustrated that I cannot cum while fucking, but I have learned how to best counsel them with a sophisticated, sensual version of "it's not you, it's me".
I'm only revealing these intimate details because I think both men and women have various sides to their sexual nature, including weaknesses, insecurities and deficiencies. But we all have deficiencies in the bed. And I think it's better that we, both men and women, talk about it openly with each other, so that we are more familiar with the range of types that are out there.
I used to have a sexual partner who would pass out upon orgasming, and that would make me, an occasional insomniac, incredibly envious. So, don't be worried. Work with what you got, and doing your best, having fun, is all you can do. Leave the worry for
work.
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