What causes self-destruction

[newsincerity]

There is no real reason for self-destruction
Self-destructive behaviour doesn't benefit anyone-certainly not the person doing it. Why do we do it? It's pleasurable in the moment or it's unpleasant not to do it.
In a dissociated state it's the dominant impulse. Something hijacks the mind bypassing rationality, free will and conscience to satisfy it.

Habitual self-destruction isn't part of our waking consciousness. It's more akin to a parasitic attatchment to a sick consciousness which might be integrated into the identity if one wrongly accepts it as part of who they are. Addiction is always in the subconscious mind waiting for a trigger to resurface and exert pressure on the brain to get what it wants.

What triggers it? A strong negative emotional reaction directed at oneself-reliving trauma or PTSD; stress; boredom; bodily sensastions... probably lots of things via association if one is in an environment where the using's taken place.
Once the relevant parts of the brain activate it is very hard to stop oneself from relapsing and that's why everyone advises to try avoid any sort of triggers/peeking/talking about it. This is where changing one's environment/routine/getting out of the comfort zone become crucial.
It's much easier to quit by switching the whole paradigm than to just try to quit. It's a form of shocking the system to break the cycle.

Max Spiers' perspective on addiction
Addiction is trauma-based mind control.
He was a schizo MK victim who had his mind shattered as a kid which created alter personalities like in the movie Split but they only served his controllers to make him do stuff he didn't remember like in Conspiracy Theory.
The trauma based MK technology is directly linked to addiction. He would go around the city with his friend then all of a sudden someone uses trigger words to activate his alter and turn Max into a drug addict. Or it would happen through a commercial on TV. He could sense the switch happening but would be unable to do anything to stop it.
When you dissociate someone they don't know what they did.
"How is this relevant? I'm in control of my actions and remember them." Think of all the times you looked at a screen for too long and next thing you know you've been unconsciously touching your genitals. Dissociation also applies to your imagination. You might drift off and do some questionable shit there and not remember. I wouldn't be too worried but it does open the question how many of our thoughts are elusive and how much are we in control. This is important because thoughts influence our emotions and feelings and these influence our conscious action.

There are also subliminal messages in childrens' shows and cartoons which we were exposed to at an early age. Noone is impressionable and dissociates like a kid in front of TV. Who knows if these things weren't crucial in making us attracted to degeneracy and vice readily available in society? We're a tightly controlled population.

Adressing the cause
Dealing with the darkness within as I know it is only for the few brave and sincere individuals. Healing the inner child, shadow work and other ideas are out there but sitting in a room by yourself or talking to a specialist won't get you anywhere without sincere action. It's the action which lets you reconnect with the feelings in the first place-moving the body causes the trauma stored in body to emerge, long walks cause memories to emerge. Interacting with society leads to encounters that remind you of your trauma. At my last job there was this old roastie who kept treating me as if she was my mother and I've been traumatised by my mother at an early age. I did not like her she triggered me and It led to another trauma where I had been singled out. My whole mood was shattered there was only darkness. Things like this will happen. There is nothing that will prevent them from happening again because we seem to attract these situations or it's the universe fucking with us.
You can't catch a break. In this reality the war for the human heart is always on-going.
There are rare blessings that can happen. Everyone is secretly counting on that one girl that will accept them for who they are and love them. That could actually help like nothing else but am I worthy? Is my luck good enough? It's a lonely life for me and I think many feel the same.
So really it's about what I do when I'm alone. How long do I let myself feel down? Do I let the shadows consume me? How do I prove my sincerity. What do I do so that I can forgive myself? If you keep adressing these questions who knows maybe one day.

Movie recommendation: Conspiracy Theory (1997)​

Reptilian brain: obsessive compulsive

@Two-jay @GGWP @Asgard @クーロ @TenzenT @user @Sovereign @Tabula Rasa @VioletBlast @cosmicx16

 

[Two-jay]

Recommended reading:

 

[GripMaxxing]

SELF DESTRUCTION NIER AUTOMATA!

 

[Apollo]

There is no real reason for self-destruction
Self-destructive behaviour doesn't benefit anyone-certainly not the person doing it. Why do we do it? It's pleasurable in the moment or it's unpleasant not to do it.
In a dissociated state it's the dominant impulse. Something hijacks the mind bypassing rationality, free will and conscience to satisfy it.

Habitual self-destruction isn't part of our waking consciousness. It's more akin to a parasitic attatchment to a sick consciousness which might be integrated into the identity if one wrongly accepts it as part of who they are. Addiction is always in the subconscious mind waiting for a trigger to resurface and exert pressure on the brain to get what it wants.

What triggers it? A strong negative emotional reaction directed at oneself-reliving trauma or PTSD; stress; boredom; bodily sensastions... probably lots of things via association if one is in an environment where the using's taken place.
Once the relevant parts of the brain activate it is very hard to stop oneself from relapsing and that's why everyone advises to try avoid any sort of triggers/peeking/talking about it. This is where changing one's environment/routine/getting out of the comfort zone become crucial.
It's much easier to quit by switching the whole paradigm than to just try to quit. It's a form of shocking the system to break the cycle.

Max Spiers' perspective on addiction
Addiction is trauma-based mind control.
He was a schizo MK victim who had his mind shattered as a kid which created alter personalities like in the movie Split but they only served his controllers to make him do stuff he didn't remember like in Conspiracy Theory.
The trauma based MK technology is directly linked to addiction. He would go around the city with his friend then all of a sudden someone uses trigger words to activate his alter and turn Max into a drug addict. Or it would happen through a commercial on TV. He could sense the switch happening but would be unable to do anything to stop it.
When you dissociate someone they don't know what they did.
"How is this relevant? I'm in control of my actions and remember them." Think of all the times you looked at a screen for too long and next thing you know you've been unconsciously touching your genitals. Dissociation also applies to your imagination. You might drift off and do some questionable shit there and not remember. I wouldn't be too worried but it does open the question how many of our thoughts are elusive and how much are we in control. This is important because thoughts influence our emotions and feelings and these influence our conscious action.

There are also subliminal messages in childrens' shows and cartoons which we were exposed to at an early age. Noone is impressionable and dissociates like a kid in front of TV. Who knows if these things weren't crucial in making us attracted to degeneracy and vice readily available in society? We're a tightly controlled population.

Adressing the cause
Dealing with the darkness within as I know it is only for the few brave and sincere individuals. Healing the inner child, shadow work and other ideas are out there but sitting in a room by yourself or talking to a specialist won't get you anywhere without sincere action. It's the action which lets you reconnect with the feelings in the first place-moving the body causes the trauma stored in body to emerge, long walks cause memories to emerge. Interacting with society leads to encounters that remind you of your trauma. At my last job there was this old roastie who kept treating me as if she was my mother and I've been traumatised by my mother at an early age. I did not like her she triggered me and It led to another trauma where I had been singled out. My whole mood was shattered there was only darkness. Things like this will happen. There is nothing that will prevent them from happening again because we seem to attract these situations or it's the universe fucking with us.
You can't catch a break. In this reality the war for the human heart is always on-going.
There are rare blessings that can happen. Everyone is secretly counting on that one girl that will accept them for who they are and love them. That could actually help like nothing else but am I worthy? Is my luck good enough? It's a lonely life for me and I think many feel the same.
So really it's about what I do when I'm alone. How long do I let myself feel down? Do I let the shadows consume me? How do I prove my sincerity. What do I do so that I can forgive myself? If you keep adressing these questions who knows maybe one day.

Movie recommendation: Conspiracy Theory (1997)​

Reptilian brain: obsessive compulsive

@Two-jay @GGWP @Asgard @クーロ @TenzenT @user @Sovereign @Tabula Rasa @VioletBlast @cosmicx16

I’ve accepted the horrible patterns—there’s no way to fight them. They pull toward you even when you try to move on, even when you change houses. I’d rather join the military, fight like a motherfucker, load up on tren, test, and deca, fuck non-stop, and claw my way out of this nightmare through sheer will.

Fixing trauma means confronting it head-on. But what if someone truly broke you? What if that was what created the addiction in the first place, shattering your entire self? Then what? Isolation creeps in, bit by bit, through injected coping behaviors forged years ago, leaving behind more than two decades of a life in ruins.

Fuck this. Its only trough hell that we can achieve heaven.


Knowing the truth and not being able to move past it, the greatest curse of a animal, until we reach that complete struggler act, as in veterans army guys, self made monks, vinland canute, or what guts will be in the end.

 

[Apollo]

There’s no escaping the pull. Even if you change houses, it follows you. So what’s left? Join the military. Load yourself with iron, drugs, and rage. Fuck through the pain. Will yourself out of hell. Face the trauma head-on because nothing else works. If it destroyed you, then fight until only you remain.

 

[newsincerity]

Recommended reading:

View attachment 8517

feel free to share your take aways I don't think I will ever read it

I’ve accepted the horrible patterns—there’s no way to fight them. They pull toward you even when you try to move on, even when you change houses. I’d rather join the military, fight like a motherfucker, load up on tren, test, and deca, fuck non-stop, and claw my way out of this nightmare through sheer will.

Fixing trauma means confronting it head-on. But what if someone truly broke you? What if that was what created the addiction in the first place, shattering your entire self? Then what? Isolation creeps in, bit by bit, through injected coping behaviors forged years ago, leaving behind more than two decades of a life in ruins.

Fuck this. Its only trough hell that we can achieve heaven.


Knowing the truth and not being able to move past it, the greatest curse of a animal, until we reach that complete struggler act, as in veterans army guys, self made monks, vinland canute, or what guts will be in the end.

There is something called PTG Posttraumatic Growth which made me think of Guts so the Stress Disorder doesn't have to happen after trauma necessarily.