Venting Why am I so retarded?

[Tomoko4r3al]

Every day I wake up and look in the mirror and hate the way I am. I shower and look down at the body I have to call my own and I hate it. I brush my teeth and dress myself and try to make my hair look good but I never feel like it’s good enough. I never feel fully presentable. Finally I give up and drive to school. I walk through the hallways and I feel like every single person is staring at me–judging me. I look down and try to keep to myself, but I can never escape them. I feel their burning gaze on me. I go to my friend and try to say something to spark a conversation, but whatever stupid shit I decide to say never sounds right, and all they do is laugh. The entire day I try to talk to people but I never feel like I can say the right thing. Other people seem to have such free conversations (especially with women), but for me, everything takes an extreme amount of effort. I spend so much time planning exactly what I’m going to say, but I always end up fucking it up and sounding like an autist. I go home and my family tries to talk to me, but all I do is nod my head and respond with passing remarks because my life is too uninteresting for conversation. As soon as I finally make it home, all I do is lie in my bed and wait for another day to pass me by. When does it end? Why am I so retarded?

 

[methos]

this entire paragraph screams autist to be honest but thats not a horribly bad thing

it ends when you let it but until then good luck

 

[PoopyPigeon]

this entire paragraph screams autist to be honest but thats not a horribly bad thing

it ends when you let it but until then good luck

I don't see a thing which doesn't scream autist for internet psychiatrists like you.

 

[methos]

I don't see a thing which doesn't scream autist for internet psychiatrists like you.

true lol

 

[Foidkiller]

Every day I wake up and look in the mirror and hate the way I am. I shower and look down at the body I have to call my own and I hate it. I brush my teeth and dress myself and try to make my hair look good but I never feel like it’s good enough. I never feel fully presentable. Finally I give up and drive to school. I walk through the hallways and I feel like every single person is staring at me–judging me. I look down and try to keep to myself, but I can never escape them. I feel their burning gaze on me. I go to my friend and try to say something to spark a conversation, but whatever stupid shit I decide to say never sounds right, and all they do is laugh. The entire day I try to talk to people but I never feel like I can say the right thing. Other people seem to have such free conversations (especially with women), but for me, everything takes an extreme amount of effort. I spend so much time planning exactly what I’m going to say, but I always end up fucking it up and sounding like an autist. I go home and my family tries to talk to me, but all I do is nod my head and respond with passing remarks because my life is too uninteresting for conversation. As soon as I finally make it home, all I do is lie in my bed and wait for another day to pass me by. When does it end? Why am I so retarded?

Young?

 

[Tomoko4r3al]

Young?

Yeah, I’m just about to finish high school, and I head to college very soon. College is probably going to be way worse.